My Flatmate is an Icecube
by Hibaku
Summary: COMPLETE. The title says it all! One roof, two Kaedes. Why does Rukawa have a pink bike? Is he really rich? How is Ryonan really like? Why is Rukawa sleeping all the time? No yaoi. OCs involved.
1. The basketball game

_Chapter One_

I craned my neck, scanning the rows of seats for an empty space is could plunk my posterior on.

Walking higher up the stands, I was waiting for the non-existent seat to beckon to me when I heard a cheer that went-

"RUKAWA! RUKAWA! L-O-V-E RUKAWA!"

Ah. I hadn't really met them in person, but I had heard about them. The Rukawa Brigade.

Without turning around to look, I was convinced that that boy had appeared on court. Smiling and running my fingers through my knotted hair, I continued to trudge up the stairs to find that stupid seat.

**x**

"Maybe you should eat some breakfast," I had suggested to him earlier that day. In his taciturn demeanor as always, he shook his head and lifted up his duffel easily to his shoulder.

I glanced at the clock. It was still early.

"Oi, it's a big game. You _will_ get tired without sustenance," I enforced, shoving three bananas to him. Grunting his thanks, he took the bananas and proceeded to open the door.

"I might go, you know," I murmured, gathering up my dirty breakfast cutlery.

I _knew_ it would surprise him.

He turned and raised an eyebrow.

"Just to show you support and all," I informed him airily. He squinted at me in suspicion.

"You don't believe me?" I questioned, striding towards him. Squeezing his arm, I locked his nose between my index and third and said, "Play well. Don't let Shohoku down."

"Usu," he murmured, swatting my hand away from his nose.

Swinging the door open, he stepped out, gave me a last look, and went off.

**x**

"Hey!" Sendoh called out, motioning me over to a rather nice seat near the middle. Koshino was with him, waving like crazy.

I always knew that guy had a thing for me.

"Hi," I nodded at them, smiling carefully at only Sendoh. (Koshino looked mildly crushed.) Plopping myself down on the seat, I folded my arms and leant forward to catch a good look at the court.

"What are _you_ doing here?" grinned the spiky-haired guy.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" I stared straight ahead with my palm upturned propping my chin, as the big guys of Shohoku streamed out from the changing room or wherever it was into the court. On the other end, the giants from Kainan stomped their way into the floor. Sendoh laughed and shrugged, knowing I was never one for much superfluous talk.

"Damn, they're _all_ tall," I muttered, tweaking my earring. (A habit I was fond of when I wanted to force myself to concentrate.)

At least, they looked as if they were huge. Probably it's because I'm just dwarfed by them.

"How tall are you, Tokita-san?" Koshino suddenly asked.

That guy must be collecting my vital stats from _anyone_ in school who knew.

I debated on whether to lie, or to tell the truth. Yes, I didn't like Koshino in that way, just… It wasn't kind to lie to him just because I wasn't interested in him the same way he was interested in me.

"166 cm," I replied, telling the truth. Koshino grinned, "That's rather tall for a girl."

"It is?" I mumbled, my eyes on the Shohoku team, scrutinizing each and every one of their players.

"Mm hmm!" Koshino answered enthusiastically. But before he could say anything else, an announcement came for the game to start.

**x**

I was almost crying in anxiety. There was only 2 seconds left in the game – Shohoku was trailing two points behind.

Sendoh was murmuring some basketball jargon under his breath (as if the teams could hear him), and Koshino's features were etched with deep concentration.

_Kami-sama, help them._

And suddenly, there was a switch in the flow of the game. The redhead caught a pass, jumped and shot.

It was breathtaking. _Beautiful_, even.

There was a comfortable swoosh and time seemed to slow down with the movement of the ball. The referee's hand swiped downwards and the board clicked to 84, Shohoku's favor. The score had _upped three points_.

_Must be some basketball rule thing._

I made a point to ask about it. Sendoh and Koshino were engaged in ceaseless chatter about the game and unnoticed, I slipped out of the stadium, satisfied.

**x**

_SENDOH AKIRA 8:29 PM  
_**I didn't notice you'd left. Koshino would've sent you home otherwise. Was really surprised to see you at the game. Something fishy is going on.**

It was already rather late by the time I got home and took my shower. I hadn't even had dinner yet. After I filled my cup noodle container with hot water and put on the lid, I flicked open the phone and saw Sendoh's message.

**Nothing fishy going on, 'sides the fact Koshino seems to be collecting lotsa useless data in class lately. Think chemicals from your gel are seeping into your brain. You guys should go for a lobotomy, dude. I'll see you in school. Night.**

I hit 'Send' and clicked my phone shut.

And then it decided to deprive me of my cup noodles by buzzing again.

_What is it, Sendoh…?_ I thought rather bemusedly, but this time it wasn't Sendoh.

_R.K. 8:38 PM_  
**We won. 84 – 83. Coming home.** **Dinner**

_Dinner_. Dinner what? Sometimes I really couldn't stand him.

**Dinner… what?**

I peeled back the lid of my cup noodle container and murmured, "Itadakimasu!" before the accursed electronic disturbed me again.

_R.K. 8:44 PM_  
**Is there dinner**

I sighed and clicked 'Reply'.

**We still have 14 packets of cup noodles. It's a free-for-all, woohoo. I'm trying to eat, could you please just come home and not keep texting me while disturbing my consumption of artificially flavored waxed flour made into thin curly strips?**

This time the reply came almost instantly. I had _no idea_ his fingers could move so fast. Normally they were just as sleepy as he was. Oh, there were _two_ separate replies.

_R.K. 8:47 PM_  
…**Cup noodles.**

_R.K. 8:47 PM_  
**Call pizza. My treat.**

I looked at the steaming container in front of me. Sighing deeply, I covered it and placed it beside the sink.

_Sorry buddy. You sure did look yummy._

**x**

"Yes, you beat the pizza-man," I smiled at him, turning away from the TV, as he unlocked the door and came in.

"Whatever," he muttered, flinging the duffel bag on the floor and taking off his shoes.

I shrugged and switched channels, munching on a pretzel in case I died before the pizza arrived.

"Oh yeah. I switched on the heater for you," I remembered, turning around and kneeling on the couch, elbows propped on the backing. He had apparently walked back to his room.

"Un. Thanks," came the muffled reply. He had spoken a little louder.

Wow, he really _was_ in a good mood.

I got off the couch and padded across the living room to our quarters. Leaning against the doorjamb, I asked, "What did you think of the opponent?"

He looked up at me from rummaging through his underwear drawer.

"They were okay, truthfully. Some of the freshmen slipped up and we didn't have Akagi-senpai, Kogure-senpai and Mitsui-senpai, so it was a hard game," he recalled, still rummaging through the drawer unable to locate the missing underwear.

He always had a lot to say after a game. It wasn't a surprise.

I tapped my chin thoughtfully with my index finger and remarked, "I thought your defense could have been stronger. I liked the short, fast guy, though. He was extremely alert, and he seemed to be able to let the game play to his likes. But his hair, oh my. Does he have a hairdresser at all, or does he put a bowl on his head and shave around the sides?"

I got a stare. A rather incredulous, disbelieving one.

"You were there."

I grinned, "You thought I wasn't serious this morning?"

"Where were you sitting?"

"Near the middle. With Sendoh and Koshino."

"Why didn't you come to me right after?"

"I was afraid of your fangirls. They would probably murder me on the spot if they caught me fraternizing with you."

"You could have sent me a text, you know."

I let a smile play on my lips. "You're particularly loquacious tonight."

If I had known him for a shorter time, I would have expected him to blush. Of course, he didn't.

The doorbell saved him from embarrassment and I shooed him to the bathroom – only after reassuring him I would magic his underwear out of somewhere, probably.

These things do happen when you share an apartment, you know.

**x**

"Oi, I want to watch basketball," complained Rukawa Kaede, King of Snottiness.

I shot him a death glare and pointed to the TV. "This is _Kindaichi_. I will _die_ if I don't watch it. You have your re-runs."

He tried to snatch the remote away from me, but the takoyaki-flipping girl in me quickly passed it to my right hand.

"Sit still and watch Kindaichi. I want to see how she died."

"Toki…" he growled, his mouth set in an extremely straight line. There was a ketchup stain at the side of it.

I almost screamed at him.

Of course, the swan-which-only-paddles-furiously-underwater in me forbade me to do that.

"My dear, you know how I have talked of paying 70percent of the bills instead of 50-50ing it out, do you? If you want me to do that, _you'd better let me watch my drama_," the Chinese-dealer-who-drove-a-hard-bargain in me threatened.

I knew that would shut him up. And I pre-empted his next move, which didn't make me very excited, but at least I got to watch Kindaichi…

He went up to the tiny whiteboard hanging outside the kitchen, erased our previous contract drawn up a year ago (_Tokita Kaede and Rukawa Kaede hereby promise to even out all costs incurred by this apartment_) and scratched the following –

_Tokita has agreed to pay 70 percent of the bills incurred by this household by exchanging said bargain with watching Kindaichi._

"I am starting to hate you, Rukawa Kaede…" I sang, my eyes still fixed onto the TV screen.

"Vice-versa," was the cold reply. He was always so petty.

But I could live with it.

**x**

It was almost one before I heard him entering the room.

"Ru?" I murmured from the top bunk, not even opening my eyes.

A grunt confirmed his existence.

I was about to apologize for making him miss the first 2 minutes of his game (yes, two bloody minutes) but before I could make any move to speak, I vaguely heard him speaking.

"Thanks for coming to the game today."

I chuckled groggily, sleep attacking my eyes. "What are friends for?"

There was a pause, and I think I heard "Thanks for being a friend" from him before I was out cold.

_You're welcome._

**xxxxx**

Characters revived! Anyone here has been reading this category of ffnet since 2002? I wonder if you guys remember my fic… I can't even remember what the title was, I've lost it forever in my database. The girl's name hasn't changed but the plot is a totally different one. If you guys have seen _lambie_ around here three years ago, that was ME! ((smiles maniacally))

Hope you guys liked this chapter. Story is obviously not finished here. Lookout for more.


	2. How it all began

Hello! In case you were wondering, Kaede is a girl's name too! (I wonder how many countless times I've had to explain this.) If you've watched the dorama 'Mukodono' starring Nagase Tomoya, you'd find that one of the sister-in-law's names was 'Kaede'. And if you play the game Sakura Wars (Sakura Taisen) you'd also find that one of the commanding officers has the name Kaede. Just some simple clarification!

Lots of flashbacks in this chapter.

**x**

_Chapter Two_

"I'm gonna miss this," I grinned at my editor, Shinohara-san, as I handed in my last volume. The 28th volume.

Shinohara-san smiled and took the manila envelope into his right hand. "I'll miss it too. You've done really well with this series. Better than the last."

"It's been a good two years," I sighed in satisfaction, drawing a hand through my hair.

**x**

Drawing was my eternal passion – I would never have been able to endure my parents' divorce or my brother's death without drawing.

As time passed, I had a feeling my drawings needed to be more emotive. I decided to tell stories with them. Stories about my childhood, stories about my brother's childhood, stories about the ghosts of the past that haunted my mind… Some were true, some were merely figments of my imagination that were close enough to reality to be thought of.

My art teacher decided to submit a piece of my art for the National Young Artist Award one day. I didn't expect her to; we always seemed to hate each other. The work was an oil painting of my late brother in abstract, as an angel rising high beyond the stars. She had a feeling that it would win something, and it did. I was placed as runner-up, and it was then I decided to be a manga artist. What better way would I tell stories through drawings than letting it be accompanied with words?

So I sought my father's permission before entering Kouei Publishing. That happened three years ago, when I was 14.

**x**

"_Kaede…" Shinohara-san sighed resignedly. "If you continue to keep the sales profit this low, the high-ups will kill you off."_

"_I know," I replied, grim shadows obscuring my pained expression. I was trying. Really, I was._

"_You're doing your best already, I can see that. Maybe you'd like to look around for some inspiration? Maybe that would help your books to sell?" Shinohara-san suggested gently._

_I could only nod and leave his office._

**x**

My first manga, a ten-volume romance series, was a painful thing to get through in the beginning. I was still finding direction in that span of one year, and sales weren't very good. Profit was only about one or two percent in the beginning, and only picked up somewhere past the sixth volume, which was considered a loss for the company since I had projected an eight-volume lifespan. I was utterly devastated when quite a number of readers sent me hate mail after my fifth volume, saying the cliffhanger was utterly stupid and predictable.

The bosses were starting to take action somewhere then, threatening to remove all the manga artists that dropped below a five percent profit benchmark. It was a good thing Shinohara-san was extremely supportive. He could see my talent and also my frustration and loss, so he suggested collaboration with another artist for the rest of my manga.

Enter Rukawa Kaede. That year, I was a freshman at high school, and he was in his last year of junior high.

**x**

"_Hi," I curtly greeted, extending my right hand. He shook it rather hesitantly - it was a very loose handshake, as if he was afraid to even touch me._

"_Rukawa-kun, this is Tokita Kaede-san. You both share the same name, I realize," Shinohara-san introduced with a smile. I nodded politely and asked Shinohara-san, "Is there reason for this special meeting, Shinohara-san?"_

_Shinohara-san tapped his table with a pencil thoughtfully. "As a matter of fact, yes. Rukawa-kun here is new, young and ready for takeoff. Probably you'd like to mentor him. Both of you okay with that?"_

_Rukawa nodded silently. _

"_He'll be helping me in my manga, you mean?" I asked hopefully. _

_Shinohara-san raised his eyebrows and replied, "Hey, you're his mentor, you can let him do anything you want."_

**x**

"Ru, where are you now?" I exited the publishing house, giving him a call on my cell.

"At home, trying to sleep."

I sighed. "It's ten in the morning."

"It's Saturday."

"You play basketball on Saturdays."

"…It's what time again?"

"Ten."

I heard a pregnant pause. "_Kusou_," was the next word I heard in the phone.

**x**

"_The bosses approved extending your manga by two volumes, nothing more," smiled Shinohara-san, his genial face beaming up at Rukawa and me. We stood rigid for a moment, before I screamed._

"_TWO volumes!" We didn't expect to be given even one. _

"_Yup. It turned out they liked the way the plot was developing, after the twist in the seventh volume. Plus sales grew by 200 percent, of course when held relative to previous figures. You'll have ten volumes altogether!" Shinohara-san laughed, removing his spectacles and swiping them gently with a cloth._

_I turned to face Rukawa and without thinking twice, enveloped him in a grateful embrace._

"_Thank you," I whispered, pools of moisture wetting the corners of my eyes._

_He just patted my back awkwardly as my silent tear fell to his shoulder._

**x**

"Yeah, _kusou_ it is," I cheered quietly, walking over to my bicycle.

"You submitted the beta copy?"

"Yeah," I replied, clipping the phone in between my shoulder and my ear, something that he would constantly reprove me of if he saw me. (Reprove pushing my head violently away from my shoulder.)

"Did he say if we would continue working together?"

I continued fiddling with the lock of my bike. "He mentioned we could if we wanted. If we thought we were capable enough."

"Are you coming home now?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I think I'll wait at home and discuss things over with you about this."

"Okay. No basketball?"

Again, a pregnant pause.

"Some things have to be sacrificed when money is the dominant factor."

I chortled. "Doesn't sound like something you'd usually say in a phone conversation."

"I'll see you at home," he decided to ignore my previous statement and end off.

"Yup," I replied, before clicking off the call.

**x**

"_Since you guys are such a tag team, the manga department has decided to let you guys collaborate on your next series. This time our target audience is for you to decide. Of course, you are familiar with our standard age group. Probably you two can come up with something," Shinohara-san folded his hands and propped his elbows on the table._

"_Um… What about alternate universe? Like, you know, what CLAMP did with Rayearth," I edged forward in my seat, the tingly sensation of ideas sending goosebumps up the nape of my neck. _

"_Sports," Rukawa spoke, folding his arms as if it was definite._

"_There are too many of those around…" I started, before Shinohara-san cut me off. "Why not you guys try alternate universe sports? Come up with a new sport of your own, set in an ethereal country. Stem the story from there."_

_I scrunched up my nose and thought why that sounded so familiar._

"_Like Quidditch?" Rukawa asked. _

_Oh yes. Harry Potter._

"_Something like that, yes," Shinohara-san nodded and gave us a thumbs-up, which was the cue that we had to exit his room because he needed to call the high-ups._

**x**

The truth was, Rukawa wasn't drawing manga solely for the love of art or storytelling. He was doing it also because of the money.

His dad went missing after a marine accident when he was 10, and his mother had to provide for his two younger siblings and him. When he turned 14, he felt that he could be partly responsible for the family's income. It was a really great blessing that he could draw, and so he decided to put his talent to good use and send in his manga to a few publishing houses. None but Kouei accepted. Shinohara-san explained that just at that time a few long-time manga artists had resigned because they needed the break, hence Rukawa was recruited. Apparently he knew it too, so he worked doubly hard.

And he was in the last year of junior high… Just like me when I started out a year back.

Then, basketball became a major commitment and he went on hiatus for quite awhile, leaving me to work on a large part of the newest collaboration (the sports-alternate universe one) for three months. He would only write when he felt he could stay awake. Fans wrote in to induce more material from him, but he could not comply. It was only until he finished the basketball matches then did he come back to manga.

**x**

I had grown up in the urban district of London, my parents contributing to the small Japanese community. My younger brother, Matsu, was diagnosed with Down's Syndrome _and _severe asthma, but I loved him all the same. Dad and Mom were very adverse to the fact that their son was mentally challenged, but I couldn't care what both of them thought.

Matsu passed away in his sleep when he was nine years old because of breathing complications.

**x**

"_You've _bought_ an apartment for me?" my eyebrows shot up as I spun around to face my dad. "What for?"_

"_Well," Dad scratched his head and pondered, "It's time you learnt to be independent."_

"_I'm only 15, Dad," I coldly turned my back against him, walked to the kitchen and sat down at the dining table._

"_Okay. Fine. I'll tell you. I'm going to live in Takamatsu."_

"_With _her_?" I softly implored. If my knowledge of geography served me correctly, we wouldn't even be on the same _island_, for crying out loud. Takamatsu is in Kagawa Prefecture in Shikoku, while Kanagawa Prefecture is in Honshu._

_Sensing the dangerous tone I used, Dad uneasily shifted his eyes to an oh-so-interesting coffee stain on the counter and gave the slightest nod. I didn't hate his girlfriend, but I hated his guts for leaving me alone in Kanagawa just like that._

"_Okay, I'll live there." _

_I had put my foot down on the matter. I couldn't take breathing the same air as him anyway. Walking calmly to my room, I started to pack._

_Three days later, I moved._

**x**

Ru wrote under the pseudonym – KleaneR. I had no idea who instilled that word in him (cleaner!) but he told me the 'K' stood for Kaede and the 'R' stood for Rukawa.

I sweatdropped when I heard that, but he just waved me away and continued working.

We got along pretty well while working together, even though he could be snappy and frustrated – I concluded that was due to his lack of sleep. We spent long hours together in our production studio on weekends, working laboriously on the script and details of the story. During weekdays I had to juggle studying and drawing, while he had to struggle with studying (or lack thereof), drawing _and _playing basketball. I was worried for the results of the high school entrance exams, which was to be released around three weeks away from that time.

He told me stories (in very short sentences with a lot of prompts from me) about crazed fans (I laughed to death), incompetent basketball team members and challenging opponents on the basketball court.

I didn't like basketball, just like some people don't like fermented soybean. I didn't bother to find out its rules, and Rukawa didn't tell me about them since I didn't ask. But I could sense his fiery passion when it came to the topic, just as much as I had when it came to art.

**X**

"_What's wrong?" I asked carefully, treading around the subject - entering the production studio one evening and finding Rukawa slumped on the story board with his arms hanging loosely at his sides wasn't exactly a pretty scene. _

_I had a bad feeling that he didn't pass his entrance exams to high school._

"_My apartment. There's no electricity because no one paid the bill."_

_I fell silent even though there was relief washing over me. I knew that we hadn't received our pay for that month yet._

"_Sometimes," Rukawa continued in a very uncharacteristic fashion, "I wonder if I'm actually helping my mother at all."_

"_Well…School fees are taken care of," I mused, knowing that the government subsidizes single-mothers heavily, "while you pay the bills. What other costs do you guys actually incur?"_

"_Food. We have four people at home."_

No wonder he's so skinny. He must be giving up his share of the food_, I thought._

"_Your brother and sister…How old are they?"_

"_11 and 12."_

"_Oh…They need to eat more at their age."_

_He nodded._

_Then, an idea struck me._

"_If you only had to provide for three people…" I started slowly, "How much would you save?"_

"_A considerable amount."_

_I did the math and decided._

"_Live with me."_

_Rukawa looked at me as if I was crazy. "…What?"_

"_Live with me," I reiterated. _

"…_No."_

"_You won't need to pay anything except for your food," I pressed on excitedly, "And my dad pays the electricity and water bills. We'll even out the costs. I live alone, remember? My dad's in Kagawa."_

_He looked tempted._

"_It won't be _that_ far away from your family. Oh yes. Where's your new school?"_

"_Shohoku. A little way from my home."_

"_You passed your entrance exams!" I shrieked, causing people from the other production studios to glare at me. I mouthed sorry to them and ruffled Ru's hair. _

"_I'm so proud of you," I grinned in delight, over the moon. I missed that kind of feeling. It felt as good as the time my brother learnt to say my name._

"_Yeah, yeah," he swatted my hand away. Furrowing his brows, he asked, "You live in Ebina, right?"_

"_Yup," I gave him a big, affirmative smile. "And you live in Atsugi. You just have to bike to school."_

"_Don't have one."_

"_I do," I said in a satisfactory tone._

_There was another pause. He thought for a long moment and finally said the magic word._

"_Okay."_

_I grinned and informed him, "Sure. My bike's pink, by the way."_

**x**

"Oi," I called out cheerfully when I got home. "Takoyaki!" I yelled, raising the box of food up in my hands.

Rukawa sauntered out of the room we liked to call 'The Back'.

We only had two rooms so we had to sleep in the same room since the studio (which is The Back) was basically an input of our rice bowl and we couldn't bear to detriment our income by working in a less-than-conducive environment.

He sat down on the couch and I placed the box of takoyaki on the coffee table. We ate in silence for awhile when he said, "I think I'd like to go solo."

I smiled, expecting that. "I don't mind."

He chewed for a few seconds before adding, "But it doesn't mean I'll move out."

"No problem. I understand."

He nodded and continued eating.

**x**

"_I'm in the same class as Sendoh this year," I announced on the first day of the second year of high school, as I trudged into the production studio of Kouei._

"_Un."_

_Looking over his shoulder at the storyboard, I told him, "You could make Vivian's eyes brighter, Ru."_

_He paused and looked up at me inquiringly._

"_You don't like me calling you something other than Rukawa?" I questioned. _

"…_Whatever."_

_I laughed and sat down beside him, pointing out that he could call me 'Toki' if he wanted._

**x**

"Have you visited your mom this week?" I asked, cutting up another ball of takoyaki.

He gave a brief nod.

Another bout of comfortable silence ensued.

The shrill ringing of my cell phone punctuated the air.

"Hello darling!" a familiar voice wafted into my ears.

And it was in English.

"Mom?" I whispered. I hadn't heard from her ever since the court hearing in which Dad had gained full custody. "Are you drunk?"

"No I'm not," she slurred.

_Typical._

I looked at my watch. "It's almost 3 am over there, Mom. What's going on?"

"I'm (hic) in Japan, darling. I'm at the (hic) Narita Airport…"

_No way._

"Does Dad know about this?" my eyeballs darted furiously round the room for my phone but I realized I was having a conversation with my mom and it was plastered to my ear.

Rukawa jerked his head upward and gave me a frown – he wanted to know what was up. I just held up my hand, asking him to wait.

"Of course that _cad_ doesn't know. Darling, would you please come and pick me? I'm supposed to check into the hotel at twelve o'clock."

I sighed and said no, I would not be able to be there on time so would you please hail a cab to the hotel.

"Oh, leave your own mother in the dumps, would you? Bloody hell, and to think I carried you around in my womb for nine fu-"

"Okay, okay," I surrendered, grabbing my purse and standing up. "Wait for me. Don't run about."

"That's better," she giggled like a teenager and hung up.

I turned to Rukawa.

"My mom's in Japan and I have to go to the airport. So…" I trailed of, trying to think of something for him to do.

"Let's go," he said, picking up his cell.

I stared at him blankly.

"What?" he asked, not looking up from wearing his shoes.

"Nothing," I broke into a grin.

"Ch," was the only thing he said as he opened the door, but I caught a tiny smile at the corner of his lips.

_Thanks, Ru._


	3. Mama and the tiff

_If you had the basic courtesy to review, you would, wouldn't you?_

_This chapter's for Devon._

**x**

_Chapter Three_

"Is this your boyfriend!" Mom shrieked halfway across the airport. A few dozen heads turned to check out who she was yelling at, and I turned with them.

It always works, you know.

"I'm here! What are you looking _there _for! Don't you recognize your own mother anymore?" Mom stamped her foot and shouted in Japanese, of all languages.

People sniggered as they passed me.

I heard Ru snorting softly and I shot him a glare. "Shut up," I said out of the side of my mouth.

"It's funny," he pointed out a-matter-of-factly. "Oi. She's coming here."

"KAEDEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Mom's 3 million decibel, hungover voice pierced the air-conditioned atmosphere of Narita Airport. I wiggled my fingers at her discreetly around the level of my crotch, not wanting to be identified as the 'Kaede' most of the eyes in the airport were looking for. She was skittering over in her red stilettos.

Oh,_ no._

"No, Mom, stay put, stay-"

Then she tripped.

Over what, I'm not sure, but 'nothing' was highly probable.

"Oh man," I groaned, walking over to help her. Ru followed in my wake. Mom was struggling to get up, without much progress.

My heart thumped (hard) against my ribcage as I drew nearer to her.

_Stop it, Heart. STOP. She's not even a cute guy. Why on earth is your heart beating like this, you stupid girl-_

Ru managed a silent wheeze as my mom catapulted into him, wrapping her arms around him and screaming, "I haven't seen you for such a long time, darling!"

_Oh, save me._

"Whatcha lookin' at!" I scolded an innocent passerby, who was staring at my mom as if she had a fetish for men who looked 30 years younger, to save myself from embarrassment.

Prying her fingers from Ru's unfortunately handsome body, I said to her, "Uh, Mom, I'm here."

"Oh!" she shrieked (again) in no embarrassment at all. Then she flung herself at me.

"Ow, MOM!" I reeled back in pain and horror as I felt her boobs crushing my ribcage. They felt like… durians. I stared at Ru with a 'didn't-you-bloody-feel-that' look but he just said tersely, "I couldn't protest."

I could only sigh.

"Like it? I went to Korea to have them done!" she pushed up her terribly expanded twin pagodas and spun right and left to let me have proper elevation of the things. I covered Ru's eyes but he pushed my hand away, retreated into a corner and laughed.

He was actually _laughing_!

Now, make this straight. Rukawa Kaede doesn't laugh like a normal person. Let me educate you-

Say 'hmph'.

Now say it in rapid succession like this – 'hmph hmph hmph hmph hmph'.

That's how Ru laughs.

…The only time I saw him laugh was when I got my bare foot stuck in the toilet bowl and I had not flushed. I had to _bribe _him to help me get it out. He made snide comments about it for about a month and even included the scene in our manga.

"Mom," I hissed, "This is an airport!"

She giggled and pushed me in response. Hard. I slammed into Ru, but he managed to stand firm. After all, he was much heavier than I was.

_What the heck was that for! _I thought as I gaped at my mother, too shocked and pissed off to speak.

"I can see why your dad got full custody," he bent down to whisper.

FYI, Ru has never met my dad.

"Thanks, Ru," I stared at him expressionlessly before turning to my mom, just in time to see her waving to a stranger and blowing him a raspberry.

The stranger looked eighty years old, walking cane included.

I pulled her close to me and moved wordlessly towards the doors of the airport. "Hey, _hey_!" Mom pushed my hand off, mildly irritated.

"Stop it, Mom, you're drunk!" I gritted my teeth and chastised.

"I'm not," she replied in accented Japanese.

"Speak English!" I insisted, chagrined.

"Why?"

"Because then less people would be able to understand you!" I raised my eyebrows fiercely.

Mom couldn't process that information in her drunken state. "Huh?"

I rolled my eyes. "Never mind."

We walked in peace for a little while more before Mom clutched my arm painfully and gave me a frantic whisper of nonsense Japanese.

"What the heck are you talking about?" I grumbled.

"I said, there's someone following us. He's rather handsome, but I'm nervous. He looks too young to be my boyfriend."

I spun around, wanting to shoo off whoever was there, but I only saw Ru. And then it hit me.

"That's my flatmate, Mom."

"So why is he following us?"

…I screamed.

**x**

"Sorry you had to witness that," I sighed, waiting at the lobby of the hotel. The following day was Sunday, so we weren't in a particular hurry to go back to Kanagawa.

Ru shrugged. "It's okay."

"You can see why my parents split up now, huh?"

Ru nodded.

"Kadohata Erin-san!" the receptionist called. I dragged myself up to my feet and approached the counter.

"That's my mom," I informed.

"Okay," the receptionist smiled kindly and passed me her key. "This is the key to room 511. Your mother would just have to mention which room she is in and also her name before she can partake of the meals in this hotel. Thank you very much."

"Thank you," I bowed back. Clutching the keys in one hand and my purse in the other, I went back to my mom, who was still sleeping on the lounge chair.

"Ru," I began, wanting to launch into the 'I-owe-you-a-lot-and-I-am-aware-of-that-but-would-you-please-help-me-anyway' speech, but he just stood up and lifted my mom up into his arms.

"Thanks," I murmured, thankful that he understood my predicament.

**x**

"You owe me one," he muttered as Mom gurgled and kissed his chest for the third time.

"You have yet to repay me for the time you left me working on _era.Craze_ alone when you were busy with your basketball," I reminded, thinking of the previous year when he had left the manga scene for a while to join the junior All-Japan.

_That_ shut him up nicely.

"But if your mom touches the wrong places…" he murmured dangerously.

"Spare me," I shivered.

**x**

"Hey, thanks for everything today," I spoke to Ru's back, as we walked to the train station. He shrugged.

"Hopefully Mom will be able to handle the nice peachy headache she will get in the morning," I grinned more to myself than to anyone else, kicking a can off the sidewalk. Ru just stared at the floor, not responding as usual.

"Tokita!" I heard someone behind me shout.

Naturally, I turned.

Ru continued walking – this confirmed my suspicion that he was either thinking about manga, if not basketball – and the person I saw next made my heart skip a beat.

_Kawasaki Tadashi._

"Kawasaki-kun!" I squeaked. (Yes, I _squeaked_.) "What are you doing here?"

"Tennis Inter High," he replied with a small smile. "First match of nationals took place today."

"How was it?" I eagerly asked, conveniently forgetting Ru.

"We won," he stated simply with a slight upturn of his lips, the rays of the setting sun dancing on his hair like-

"Oi," a deadpanned voice shattered my dream.

_Darn you._

"Oh, is this your boyfriend?" Tadashi implored, giving Ru a slight bow and smiling. He was ever the polite gentleman, Tadashi was. He would step aside to let our bikes pass him, and when little children waved to him on the sidewalk, he would-

"No," Ru coldly put across.

_Why did he always have to break my concentration!_

Ru was never good with strangers ever since he entered high school. It wasn't that bad in junior high, frankly speaking.

Hooray for my wonderful flatmate.

"He's my-" I almost said 'flatmate', but a thought struck me. _What would Tadashi think of an unmarried 18-year-old girl who lived with a guy? Wanton? Loose? Prostitutional, if there was such a word!_

"He's my brother," I lied.

I was pretty sure, at that moment, Rukawa was giving me his Death Glare. Of course, I didn't dare look at him.

"Oh, hello! Pleased to meet you, I'm Kawasaki Tadashi," Tadashi put out his hand for Ru to shake.

Time seemed to stop at that nanosecond, at least for me.

_Shake it, _I commanded. _Shake it. Shake shake shake shake-_

Tadashi lowered his hand, squinting at Ru.

_ARGH! RUKAWA KAEDE! I AM GOING TO SKIN YOU ALIVE! WHY DIDN'T YOU SHAKE HIS HAND! I AM GOING TO FEED YOU TO THE LIONS, IF I HAD ANY! I AM GOING TO KEEEEEL YOU! YOU MUTE BLOB OF-_

"You look familiar. Were you from Tomigaoka Junior High?" Tadashi directed to Ru.

_Huh…_

Ru nodded with all the hostility he could muster.

"You were the basketball guy, right? Um, oh no, I can't remember your name…"

_Oh no. They KNEW each other!_

"Something-kawa… You were the ace player of the junior team!"

…_And I told him Ru was my BROTHER……………………_

"Natsukawa? Hm, no. Arakawa? No, not that either…"

I looked at Ru and he gave me a shrug which clearly spelt, _You're in this yourself._

"Maybe it is Ishikawa-"

_Oh no. I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead I'm- Hey. Yeah!_

"Ahem," I cleared my throat. "It's _Ru_kawa."

"Oh, yes! Rukawa Kaede!" Tadashi grinned brightly as the name clicked into place.

Ru looked at me with an eyebrow raised.

"He's actually my cousin," I continued, nodding seriously. "I just call him 'brother' because we're really close. That's why we don't share the same family name."

"Ah, I see," Tadashi smiled in understanding. "But isn't it funny for two cousins in a family to share the same name?"

I quickly defended, "My mother was gave me the name 'Fuu' but she wrote it wrongly and when my dad went to register my birth he read it as 'Kaede' so it stuck."

I heard a soft snort coming from Ru and tried to ignore him.

Tadashi gave me a condescending grin. "I see, so that's what happened."

"Well," I quipped, "we'd better be going! I need to do, uh, stuff. Bye, Kawasaki-kun!"

Tadashi laughed and waved goodbye as I pushed Ru towards the station, my cheeks flaming from all the lies that I had told in the past ten minutes.

**x**

"Sorry," I managed to compose myself on the train.

Ru was silent.

"It just slipped out," I continued.

Still, it was silence.

"Don't tell me you've never had a crush before."

...No response.

"You've never had a crush before!" I exclaimed.

Ru shrugged.

"Oh, for the love of Da Vinci," I moaned in exasperation, not believing it.

Normally, silence with Ru was okay, comfortable even. But that evening, it was torture.

"Ru…" I began.

"You didn't have to be so fake."

…I felt as if I got slapped in the face.

"What did you say?" I was aware of the fact that my voice had taken on a particularly negative tone, but I couldn't help myself. _How dare he. Who did he think he was?_

"You heard me," was his reply.

"Just because you've never seen me like that before doesn't mean I'm trying to act like someone else," my voice rose, my head amazingly cool. I saw facts swimming in front of my eyes, crystal clear and ready to prove him wrong.

His eyes flashed. "You lied. You were ashamed."

"What do you care?" the words left my mouth before I could stop them. His features hardened.

I felt horrible at that moment.

"I don't," he put across simply, folding his arms and turning away from me.

**x**

The following morning I woke up in the weirdest mood I had ever woken up in on a Sunday.

I woke up cautiously.

I then moved very slowly across the mattress, before popping my head down to the lower bunk.

Ru wasn't there.

I flopped back onto my pillow, my heart sinking to my toes.

**x**

It was a rest period for me, which meant that I did not have to draw manga for a long while and still be able to live on royalties from the previous series. I mooned about the apartment after calling my mom to make sure she was fine - apart from the headache that made her yell a few thousand profanities into my ear, she was in mint condition – and suddenly I remembered.

While running over to the room to locate my cell phone, I glanced at the clock. It was 9 in the morning.

_Kusou._

Flicking the phone open, I scanned my message inbox for a certain message Sendoh had sent a few days ago.

_SENDOH AKIRA 9:14 PM  
_**Basketball match on Sunday, 8 am, against Shoyo. Our school. Please come to support. If we win, it's IH we're talking about. Oh yes. You'd probably make Koshino play better. Ha. So, please come. **

I hurriedly grabbed my keys and rushed to school. I _had _promised Sendoh I would go – he did let me copy his Math homework practically every day. I owed him.

**x**

Note: If you can read Japanese, the only difference between the word for 'wind' (pronounced as 'Fuu' for names, 'kaze' for the noun itself) and 'maple' ('Kaede') is a radical. There is only a slight difference. The word for 'maple' can also be pronounced as 'Fuu', incidentally. The characters, if your computer can identify Japanese characters, are as such:

風 Kaze/Fuu  
楓 Kaede/Fuu

**Laily **thanks so much for the feedback and praise. I believe I've replied you via the message system? Hope you liked this installment!


	4. Love and its technicalities

**Laily **nope I have never watched ER! Glad you could relate. Thanks for liking the previous chapter. This one is more serious, IMO.

**Miss Hachigatsu Kuroi **yes, I think Rukawa should be poor. High school students are generally poor. Takes one to know one. Ha. Thanks for liking Kaede.

**rip **thanks for your compliments!

**Allence of the Weed **hey hi! Thanks for the compliment, hehehe. I'm Singaporean-Chinese! More power to you too.

**Devon **here's more Tadashi for you :P

**x**

_Chapter Four_

I drew in as many breaths as I could like a fish out of water (in a literal sense) as I ran from home to school. It was only a 15-minute walk away but I wasn't the world's best athlete. Chances of me being the world's worst was higher – the only person I ran faster than was the most obese guy in Ryonan who graduated last year.

Of course, his graduation marked my attainment of his throne. I had become the official mascot of the Thou Shalt Not Exercise Because It Harms Your Brain Club.

**x**

Koshino beamed up at me as I appeared in the sports hall. "Tokita! You're here!" he exclaimed to my half-dead, wheezing being.

"Sorry I'm late – Where's Sendoh?" I was late; the least I could do was to apologize.

"Talking to the coach," Koshino gestured behind his shoulder. "Why are you looking for him anyway?"

Sensing the slight irritation in Koshino's tone, I just shrugged and walked back up to the spectator stands, my hands in my pockets.

_Good heavens,_ I stopped halfway up, thinking about what I had just done to Koshino.

_That was so Ru._

**x**

"Why hasn't the game started yet!" I hissed to a schoolmate I barely knew, fanning myself as sweat from the short run ran down my neck in amounts that could rival Ru's drool.

_Stop thinking about that kid, he doesn't appreciate you anyway, _I scolded myself. The schoolmate handed me a piece of tissue paper and I muttered my thanks, albeit embarrassed at my earlier tone.

"There's been a delay," she replied. "Apparently the other team isn't here yet."

"Isn't the game supposed to start at eight?"

She looked at me queerly. "No, it starts at nine."

Looking at her disbelievingly, I whipped out my cell and screened my message inbox.

_Wait a minute._

My eyes zoomed in to a message that was sent five minutes after the one in which Sendoh informed me about the match.

_SENDOH AKIRA 9:20 PM_

**Oops. I think I typed in the wrong time. Please check. It's supposed to be 9 am! Forgive me **

…_Sendoh, you villain. You made me overwork my under-developed body for _nothing

Then there was a big hoo-ha downstairs, followed by a loud whamming of the doors against the walls.

Shoyo had arrived.

**x**

Ryonan and Shoyo have probably been mortal... you can't say enemies, rivals would be a better choice of words, ever since the foundational bricks have been laid for both the schools. According to Sendoh, the basketball teams get along pretty well but apparently it isn't the same for the debating society (typical) and (strangely) the chess club. I heard from a classmate that the chess club staged a huge furor when Shoyo committed an illegal checkmate or something like that and they played 15 rounds of Mastermind to finally determine the winner of that chess game.

Talk about total geekdom.

It turned out that Shoyo's bus broke down about a third of their journey to our school. I glanced down at the court and saw Sendoh slapping Koshino's butt before moving off to the game. How very Sendoh.

Sendoh was my closest friend in class because we had been in the same class for two years and on top of that, Sendoh had always sat behind me.

Sendoh's love interest was one of the quieter girls in class. She sat in front of me and her name was Fujii Sayaka. Sendoh asked me to play matchmaker sometime the previous year - I politely declined, of course.

I don't know why exactly Sendoh picked me out of so many other girls in the class but it was probably because Sayaka was sitting in front of me and it wouldn't be too obvious if he wanted me to throw her a note, plus the fact that Sayaka came from the same junior high as I did. Sendoh started to talk to me more after that.

**x**

"Kill him, Sendoh!" I screamed, jumping to my feet along with several others, as the game hit its climax. It was then I noticed - at the far end of the spectator's stands was the Shohoku team.

I sighed. He didn't notice me, but I felt guilty just by looking at him.

_Goodness, Kaede, just concentrate on the game_, I forced myself to revert my thoughts.

"Tokita-san?"

I froze. _That voice._

Like a clockwork doll I turned to face (who else?) Tadashi.

"Kawasaki-kun!" I half-squealed. He grinned and said, "Great game, isn't it?"

I nodded enthusiastically, my eyes bright.

"Your cousin's over there," he pointed higher up the spectator stands.

I glanced up there and spotted Ru gazing intently on the game. I gave a small, weak smile to Tadashi. "We're not exactly speaking right now," I explained.

Tadashi nodded politely and knew that he shouldn't probe.

What a gentleman.

I glanced up the stands again just as the game stopped for half-time. Ru was fast asleep, drool dribbling out from the corner of his mouth in the finest, most inconspicuous _strand_ of liquid ever known to mankind.

…I had no comment.

**x**

Needing a break, I took off to the school yard in search for Tadashi, who was nowhere to be found after I took a second peek at my flatmate.

Pushing open the double doors of the gym, I breathed in the air infused with dust particles floating visibly, peacefully in the sunshine…

After sneezing, I turned the corner and went down the corridor. Ryonan has its gym and pool situated just beside the staff room – rumor has it that that almost every jock has an underground staff fanclub. The male teachers are all seated on the side nearest to the pool to ogle at the girls better and the females are on the side nearest to the gym to fantasize about the basketball and volleyball guys. Walls are made with special glass that cannot be detected from the outside and there's even a scope into a dressing room. That's why the staff room is out-of-bounds to all students. Those who have entered… never came out the same again.

(The principal's and heads-of-departments' office is rumored to be hence always available for the sad fact that they are situated in front of the garden where the Eco-Love Society, Chess Club and Science Club congregate.)

Strolling by the enclosure of the pool, I heard Tadashi's voice on the other side of the fence (something about 'not being able'). Wanting to call out to him, I opened my mouth but I promptly closed it again when I heard a female voice going, "What do you mean we cannot be together?"

_Oh, shoot, _I thought, thinking I had stumbled into a private conversation between him and his girlfriend. And then it struck me.

_He has a girlfriend._

My heart hit my skull and then plummeted down to somewhere above my pelvis when I heard his reply-

"Ueno-san," he softly spoke to the now-sobbing girl.

_-Ah. They are _not _on first-name basis. She isn't his girlfriend!_

"I hardly know you, and you me. I believe that I will not make you happy."

My heart went back to its normal position, but it was throbbing rapidly.

"B-But Kawasaki-kun! I… I love you!"

My heart stopped. I thought I was going to die.

"Ueno-san…" his voice came through the fence like a gentle summer breeze. I shivered, despite that. I don't know why, but I just did.

"What do you know about love?" was his question. It got me unconsciously pondering as well.

"…It is being happy… Being with the one you think you would like to share your love with…"

_I agree._

He sighed. "I disagree."

Another sob was heard. The caught-in-the-throat, choked kind. I, too, felt slapped.

"Love is a commitment," his tone was stronger than what he had used earlier. "It is not something that is always happy, not as simple as being together with someone. Love is complicated. It is only when troubles have passed and you still emerge with the one whom you love, your bond strengthened more than ever before, that you know what love is and who exactly you love."

There was silence. I believe the Ueno girl was even more stunned at that speech than I was, since she could see his face.

"I'm sorry, Ueno-san," his voice took on a friendlier tone, comparable to his first. "I cannot be with you."

**x**

My heart thumped against my chest as I ran back to the gym, and it wasn't because I was less-than-equipped when it came to fitness.

**x**

I spent the rest of the game heavily distracted, thinking about what Tadashi had said.

Love is a commitment – my parents did not have that.

Love is known when you can surmount all troubles – my parents could not do that.

I could not help but shed a tear at that memory, and the girl sitting beside me who had offered me tissues earlier patted my shoulder awkwardly.

"It's okay," she nodded earnestly because I had chosen to cry just when Shoyo scored two points, "Ryonan's still leading. You don't have to feel so bad."

**x**

I gave Sendoh a thumbs-up to congratulate his win and waved as I exited the gym. He waved back to thank me for coming before making the motion that he would text me later. I nodded and passed the heavy metal double-doors.

Pondering upon what had happened earlier at the pool, I unknowingly bumped into someone's back. Rubbing my nose, I looked up to see Tadashi.

Somehow, it felt different.

Somehow, it felt as if… I didn't have the need to act around him anymore.

"Hello," I gave him a small smile, thinking of how serious he sounded earlier.

"Hello," he said cheerfully back at me.

I just gave him a casual wave and went on my way, leaving Tadashi still caught in the throngs of people filing out of the gym.

It was official. I was in love.

**x**

It wasn't a special thing. No butterflies fluttering around yellow flowers I had passed before following in my wake, celebrating my joy. None of that nonsense. Just… a special, calm feeling resting somewhere in my chest, determined to open up into full blossom when the right time arrived.

I did not even smile to myself as I walked into my neighborhood, even though I was in a good mood. It was rather weird, but I just felt… totally at ease with myself. Like I had found true enlightenment in life.

**x**

_Ru…?_

"Rukawa-kun!" I heard a girl run past me up to Ru, who was just entering the lift lobby of our apartment building.

Ru stopped and turned around.

I shifted to the side of the pavement, not wanting to make known the fact that I existed in the same space as they did.

"I… I have something to tell you," she bit her lip and blushed.

_Oh no, don't tell me-_

Ru just looked at her, disinterested.

"I think…" she looked up confidently, "I like you."

Even at that distance, I could read Ru's movements. His hand moved slowly out of his pocket and gripped his bag strap. His left foot shifted slightly backward.

He was nervous.

He was also a terrific actor.

"So?" asked the girl, who was really quite brave, I'd say.

There was a pregnant pause.

Getting slightly impatient, I walked a little more up front before hearing Ru say the magic words-

"Who do you think you are?"

He was always so harsh.

The girl wasn't taken aback, however. I was surprised. She said, "I am Yanagisawa Megumi, president of the astronomy society and third best student in the level."

"…I don't care."

_Ouch._

"Why do you always have to be so closed up?" the girl urgently pressed. "Why do you shun away from people who like you?"

"I don't. I just shun away from people like you."

_What a great pun_, I laughed inwardly. _Manga must be doing something good to his thinking._

Now the girl looked offended.

"What are you trying to say?" she stood a step closer to Ru, her eyes flashing.

"You should be able to figure what 'go away' means."

Somehow, in all the melodrama, the girl's face crumpled.

"How could you treat me like this? Do you know how much I like you, actually? Do you know anything about anyone else? Don't you even know how to treat someone properly?" she cried amidst tears.

I was rather stoned. Two confessions in a day was hard to handle.

"I do. But she doesn't appreciate it," he turned around just as the girl sobbed down into her hands.

His gaze burnt into my fragile stare, shattering it into pieces as I quickly looked at a fascinating crack in a tiny sample of gravel.

He then went towards the building, leaving the girl bawling, and entered the elevator. My thoughts were encroached as its doors shut with a seemingly more resounding bump as in the past.

**x**

_SENDOH AKIRA 01:03 PM_

**Thanks for attending the game. Oh yes, you know Kawasaki? The tennis captain? He wants your number and figured that since we're in the same class I'd have it. You wouldn't mind me giving it to him right? (I didn't tell Koshino. I think he'd have a fit and hang himself. Bwahaha.)**

I was skeptical. Why on earth did Tadashi want my number?

**No problem regarding the game, dude. Um. Why does he want my number? (And what kind of friend are you to Koshino, man…)**

I didn't have to wait long for my answer.

_SENDOH AKIRA 01:06 PM_

**He didn't say. He just texted me and I texted you even before giving him a reply. (Koshino would be better off if he didn't know some other guy was also trying to collect information related to you.)**

I sighed. I guess it was okay to give Tadashi my number… Maybe he wanted to ask me about my manga. That was a wild guess – most of the school knew that I was a manga artist and since I was already in third year, it had already become old news.

**Okay, whatever, you da man. Just give him my number. 1-988-899-9989.**

_SENDOH AKIRA 01:09 PM_

**That's the ramen delivery number. I wasn't fooled, you know. I happen to eat ramen too.**

I stuck out my tongue at the phone and snapped it shut. Sendoh knew me well enough.

Sendoh was the only one I could really loosen up and talk to and laugh with, even though I wasn't _that_ close to him. He was just… a nice person. Kind of fluffy in the head at times (especially when it came to Sayaka) but still a nice guy. Ru was too uptight and silent while Tadashi was too distant. Hence, Sendoh was the next thing for a friend.

**x**

Approaching The Back (which I have to reiterate is what we called our home studio) I found the door to be closed and rock music blasting the windows stupid. Sighing, I barged in without knocking and switched off the radio.

"We have to talk," I spun the swivel chair around and plopped myself on it, facing Ru's profile.

"There's nothing to say," Ru shrugged.

"I'm sorry, okay?" I said exasperatedly, knowing that I had apologized before.

Ru stared at me as if to say, _It's not the first time._

"I know I've always tried to cover up the fact that you live with me, most of the time," I resignedly muttered. "But you need to know that I'm not ashamed of you. It's just that… our reputation is at stake here. You get what I mean?"

The look on his face hinted defiance.

"Ru… About Kawasaki-kun."

I saw him getting mildly interested; he bit the inside of his lower lip and chewed on it once before slowly cocking his head.

Taking a deep breath, I proclaimed, "I am in love with him."

"……"

Just then, my cellphone sounded.

**x**

_(unknown) 01:20 PM_

**Tokita-san, this is Kawasaki Tadashi. Would like to see you and talk to you about something. Would you mind coming over to my home? It's two blocks away from school in the Akamiya Estate. Tomorrow after school would be good. I'll meet you at the big tree near the main gate.**

Ru read the message upside down.

"Seems that he has something going on for you too."

I blushed, not wanting to fantasize. "Don't say things like that."

"…Are you going?"

"I should," I reasoned, "since he's invited me so nicely."

Ru seemed to be taking the news that I was in love with Tadashi pretty well. Then again, it was Ru we're talking about. I wasn't very sure exactly how he felt.

"Ru, let's get back to the topic. I just didn't want Kawasaki-kun to think badly of me, you know?"

"I'm only your flatmate."

"Yes, but you're a guy."

"So?"

"I'm a _girl_? Hello? Do you copy?"

Ru gave me this weird scrutinizing look that somehow made me suspect he had not been thinking of me as a girl all this while.

**x**

"Hey Ru," I popped my head down to his bunk that night before he switched off the lights.

"It's not the Ghost Month yet," Ru scowled, zipping up his pencil case. He had been working on his new manga. (How hardworking. It made me guilty.)

My long hair continued to float about and I looked rather ghastly. Ignoring his comment, I asked, "We're friends now?"

He just held my upside down gaze for about half a second, got up from his bunk, strode over to the lights and flicked them off.

I smiled inwardly.

Silence was a good enough answer.

It was then when I heard a thump and a groan that I realized Ru had collapsed on our room floor.


	5. Curiosity killed the cat

For this chapter I took a quotes from a certain website off the Internet (won't tell you where though). Some funny lines I thought of them myself. Enjoy!

**x**

_Chapter Five_

"What on earth did you do today?" I chastised, remembering him going out in the afternoon after our short talk.

"Played basketball," Ru said through gritted teeth, as I helped him onto his bed.

"Where?"

Ru mumbled something so the boogeyman couldn't get to hear if he was far enough.

"In Atsugi? Your _real_ place? _That _court? Good heavens, Ru, you were playing in an open court while it was raining as if the Rain God had refused to answer the call of nature for, like, fifteen years?" I screeched.

What was I going to do with this boy?

**x**

"I know you have the same aversion to doctors as you do with teachers so I've decided to nurse you till you're better," I decided, all big sisterly. Ru was running the temperature of the year and I could _not_ leave him to some _doctor_.

"You?" he muttered incredulously, almost getting up from his bed had I not pushed him back down.

"Why not," I retorted. "I used to be a student medical officer at my old school."

"You?" he reiterated in that disbelieving tone. I nodded proudly.

"When?"

"In London."

"You were just a kid then, right?" his eyes opened so sarcastically wide that I thought his lashes were going to kiss his eyebrows.

"Ah, shut up," I shoved a thermometer into his mouth, causing him to scowl at me.

I smugly shook a finger at him. "No takoyaki until you're better."

**x**

"You know, I used to do this for my brother when he had a fever," I watched the facecloth soaking up the water before lifting it out of the basin and wringing it.

Sponging his forehead, I continued, "Of course, he would giggle and talk to me as I did it. You just… lie there and stare."

Ru averted his bloodshot gaze from the wall to me. "There's nothing to giggle or talk about," he whispered before blushing, not meaning to sound so helpless.

(Maybe I made a mistake. Ru doesn't ever blush. Okay maybe he was so hot that his face was flushed a peachy shade. Yeah, maybe that was it.)

I put the cloth aside and then placed the back of my hand on his burning cheek.

"You're still hot," I muttered irritably, swiping the thermometer with a baby wipe and putting it into Ru's mouth again.

"Do you have a headache?" I suddenly asked, remembering my brother's bouts of head-banging against the wall whenever he started to have a fever.

Ru just nodded with his eyes shut.

"Try to sleep," I coaxed.

The thermometer started beeping and I removed it from under his tongue.

"40 degrees Celsius, congratulations," I smiled, taking out the baby wipes again.

His eyes opened.

"Sleep," I commanded. He normally had no problem with sleeping, but that night, it was particularly impossible.

**x**

"Hi Sendoh," I placed the phone between by shoulder and my ear.

I heard a loud, long yawn.

"Yes, good evening to you too," I filled up a metal pot with water and shoved the frozen chicken into the microwave to defrost.

"It's 2 am in the morning, Tokita," grumbled Sendoh.

"Ah. I just need to tell you I won't be in school tomorrow so you can sit behind Sayaka."

I could almost hear that joyous peal of the (wedding…?) bells that were going off in Sendoh's head.

"Reeeeeeaaaaally?"

Boy, he sounded awake. And somewhat suspicious.

"Yes, really."

"I always thought you were prejudiced against me for wooing her because you think I'm beneath her," Sendoh stated smugly, obviously remembering the time I had said no to helping him match-make himself with Sayaka.

"I am free of all prejudices," I replied calmly, taking the chicken out of the microwave.

"You're not," taunted Sendoh.

"I hate everyone equally."

"…And why are you not going to school tomorrow?" I heard him sigh.

I chuckled at Sendoh's great comeback. "I need to nurse someone."

"Who?" I heard Sendoh's voice take a turn for the inquisitive while I brought out a knife to slice off the flesh and get to the bone.

"They say that curiosity killed the cat, Sendoh. If you ask anymore it wouldn't be _merely_ curiosity that killed you," I said in mock seriousness.

"You sound scary," Sendoh mumbled.

"I'm sharpening a knife," I told him simply.

"…I'm glad we're _merely_ on the phone."

I made the first cut into the chicken, laughing.

"I'm glad too, Sendoh. Good night."

"Wait."

"What's up, Cat?"

"Thanks. For telling me I can sit behind Sayaka," he gave a soft chuckle. "Night."

**x**

I've always been someone who values friendship because I couldn't get love from my parents. At least, I couldn't feel it. I could always feel it from my friends.

My best friends were all in London, a group of crazy girls who had weird minds (during the Mad Cow Disease scare in the U.K. a few years back Karin ate sponge cake while hanging upside down on the monkey bars because she wanted to make herself have a sponge-like brain, which was a symptom of the disease, and hence not be well enough go to school). But in Japan, none of the girls I met could go crazy like them. The only person who cared to have real fun with me was Sendoh, and even that was once in awhile.

_Maybe it's me_, I sighed inwardly. _Maybe I'm the one who has the problem. Maybe I'm the one distancing myself away from other peo-_

"Toki…" I heard a voice behind me, breaking my train of thought.

…Ah, that boy!

"Why aren't you asleep?" I asked, going up to him and pushing him towards the room. Of course, being Ru, he resisted.

"Can't sleep," he scowled, disgruntled. "I've got a headache."

"The aspirin's in the drawer," I pointed. "Pop one or two and go to bed."

"What are you doing?" he asked when he saw the pot of boiling water and chicken bone.

"Making soup for you," I responded as nicely as I could, my irritation and anxiety increasing by the second. He needed to rest. He was burning up, for crying out loud.

"You don't have to," he said flatly.

"I want to. You're sick."

He was quiet for a moment before turning and leaving the kitchen.

_Weird_, I thought. _For once, his compliance came easy._

**x**

I covered the pot and let it the soup cook itself. Padding softly to the room, I saw Ru toss to face the top bunk and settle down, his chest moving up and down rhythmically.

_Good. He's sleeping. _

Then, he opened his eyes for a brief moment and quickly shut them when he saw I was looking.

…_At least he tries._

Sighing inwardly, I switched off the light to let him sleep better and entered The Back. It was cluttered with magazines, drawing guides, manga (mostly free from the other authors at Kouei) and the awards that our works had won were mounted on the wall.

My eyes fell on the Young Artist Award. It was a simple bronze plaque which had the following words in bold: _Proudly presented by the Japanese Art Society to Tokita Kaede – Second Runner-up, National Young Artist Award_.

The Art Society was rather reluctant to return my painting of my brother to me, but after much begging and a hefty (forced) donation by my father, they finally condescended and let me keep it.

Of course, I placed it alongside my award plaque.

It was at that moment, when I was gazing fondly at the only substantial, tangible memory of my brother in that room, that I realized I missed painting. I missed it a lot. I had not painted for three years, ever since I entered Kouei.

As if something possessed me, I rushed to the back of the room and scrabbled around for my easel, which I found behind a roll of paper. Like a maniac I combed the room for that piece of canvas I had bought on a whim one evening on my way home from Kouei and finally located it under the stock of inks which we constantly had to use to replenish our pens for drawing manga.

I went to my cupboard (Ru had his own) and pulled out my drawing case, which contained my palette, my oils, brushes and all the whatnot that I had thrown in. I quickly erected the easel, pinned my canvas on and prepared my paints.

It was then I realized I had no concept at all for a painting.

I calmed myself down, ran my fingers through my hair and closed my eyes. I cleared my mind and told myself when I said the word 'think' in my head, the first thing that appeared would be what I would draw.

_Think._

**x**

"Ru," I shook him gently and whispered, "drink some soup and take your aspirin."

He stirred and allowed me to help him sit up.

"I need to take your temperature first," I remembered.

There was silence as he groggily allowed me to shove the thermometer in his mouth. I glanced at the clock.

_3:09 AM._

"Okay," I cheered as the thermometer beeped. "Let's hear the verdict – 39 degrees Celsius."

Ru raised his eyebrows.

"Take your aspirin and soup and you'll be fine in no time."

He just nodded curtly and lifted the bowl to his lips and in a matter of seconds it was gone. I handed him the pills and a glass of water but he just took the pills and swallowed them dry.

_Guys._

"That was a nice display of your manliness," I politely complimented. "Do go to sleep."

"…What about you?"

"I'm fine. I'm busy, even. Holler if you must; I'll be in The Back."

And with that, I left the room with the bowl, the glass of water and my heart rejoicing at being able to get back to my oils.

**x**

I woke up to my phone buzzing noisily on the table. Groggily I flipped it open and through a crack in my right eye I tried to navigate to the text menu. The sunlight was blasting through the windows at me, forcing me to open both my eyes (reluctantly enough).

_SENDOH AKIRA 09:12 AM_

**Something big has happened at school. What a pity you aren't here to witness it. Muahahaha.**

I groaned and thought, _What on earth? You wake me up just to gloat about something big and you don't tell me what it is?_

Flipping the cell shut, I remembered that I had a bed and stood up to drag myself to my bedroom. Then the thought of having to climb a ladder to just to _reach_ my bed made me sit down again.

The moment I sat down, I received another text.

_FUJII SAYAKA 09:23 AM_

**You'd never, never guess what is happening in school RIGHT NOW. Why aren't you here? This is JUST THE SORT OF THING you'd do in junior high.**

If _Sayaka _was texting me, that something must be _really something_.

_(unknown) 09:24 AM_

**Want a bust enhancement or eyelash extensions? Simply go to our website**

I deleted that without even looking past the next word. My phone seemed to be buzzing like crazy. I read the next name – 'Honda Takafumi'. My junior in the Art Club.

_HONDA TAKAFUMI 09:24 AM_

**OI SENPAI! Did you hear about the Eco-Love uproar at the principal's announcement already? **

The _Eco-Love _Club? They were one of the gentlest people around school. They wouldn't even eat onions on certain days because they would check the methane index regularly and determine that it will not be beneficial to the environment if they let out excess gas if the day's methane content was too high.

Another two juniors, Hiromi and Chiyoko, sent me the same message.

_Well, it figures, they were both from the same junior high as I was,_ I thought.

_KOSHINO 09:24 AM_

**Tokita-san, the principal announced this morning at assembly that we are going to install air-conditioning in all our classrooms and the Eco-Love Club went berserk an hour later! They had secret meetings in toilets in that hour before congregating in front of the principal's office and destroying the air vents in there. Can you imagine? I tried to stop one girl and she BIT me! It really hurts.**

_FUJII SAYAKA 09:25 AM_

**The Eco-Love people totally destroyed the air-conditioning in the library as well. It's just like the time you led the protest for your art campaign!**

Oh yeah. Back in junior high I was the weird kid. Art was really important to me and I found the art education in Japan too stringent. Art was supposed to be a free-form expression. Together with three other brave Art Club members I stormed the principal's office spraying paint on his walls.

The protest didn't work. In fact, it failed miserably.

Needless to say, it got me suspended for a week. I didn't get expelled because of the award I was winning at that time (the school bathed in the glory a little bit) but my poor comrades were. (They joined an art college after that.)

I really pitied the Eco-Love Club, thinking of the kind of feeling they'll experience when their effort all comes to naught.

**x**

So the arrangement was this – the Principal closed down the school for half a day because all the places in the school that had air vents were totally wrecked and the teachers were helping to see to the administration work. The students who were not involved were sent home, and those who were involved were contained in a classroom.

How upsetting.

It was when my phone stopped buzzing that I realized I was very very very tired. I shut my eyes and my head was about to crash onto the table before – surprise, surprise – the phone buzzed again. I decided to ignore it.

_Buzz buzz._

I ignored it still.

_Buzz buzz._

…This time it was a call.

"Hello?"

"Sorry, Tokita-san. Did I disturb you?"

My eyes shot open in surprise

"Ah, Tad- I mean, Kawasaki-kun! Why are you calling me?"

"Hello," he said in that gentle voice of his. "Remember I invited you to my home?"

_No._

"Yes," I started to panic, realizing I had forgotten.

"Since school has let out early, can I meet you in your classroom?"

"Um, Kawasaki-kun, actually I'm not in school."

"Oh?"

"I overslept and missed school," I lamented.

He laughed, "All right, I'll go pick you up at your place."

A shocked "Huh?" escaped my lips.

"I'll get your address from the office. See you!"

With a beep the call was disconnected.

…_Oh, shucks._

**x**

Tadashi is not what he seems to be, people. Trust me. Thanks for waiting for this installment, exams just ended 2 days ago and this chapter has been sitting in my computer for over a month. I'm really excited to write the next chapter – I'm gonna start on it now!

Thanks to all for the support. Do keep reviewing so I will know what can be improved in this fic. Thank you!


	6. The toothbrush incident

I've been planning this chapter for months! Muahaha. I'm sorry to all you romance fans out there – romance really ISN'T my kind of thing but I'll try (in later chapters :P) because that's what my genre states! Enjoy!

**x**

_Chapter 6_

I got dressed into something more proper before realizing that my flatmate wasn't home. Just as well, this way Tadashi won't get the idea that we're living together.

_What if he comes home when Tadashi reaches downstairs?_ I panicked.

_No, it isn't Friday the 13th. Nothing will happen. Shush, _I consoled myself.

I searched high and low for a note from Ru and finally found it stuck on my alarm clock.

**Gone to school. I'll be back in the evening. Feeling better so get takoyaki, okay **

_Sigh_.

_Whatever_.

_Okay._

**x**

"Tokita-san?"

"Yup."

"You can come down now."

My heart almost leapt out of my throat as I grunted (why did I _grunt_?) my consent and prayed to the heavens before opening the door.

**x**

I found my heart falling along with the motion of the stuffy elevator as it descended onto the first storey with rapid speed.

Really. I kid you not.

I wasn't so caught up with Tadashi at that point of time but I was still nervous about being alone with him. I'm still a girl, all right?

Ding-dong! went the lift in its sickly happy voice, mocking me to get out and face Tadashi and probably barf.

_This is it._

The doors parted to reveal a stunning pearl-white Vespa. That caught my eye before he did, serious. Well, it did stop me from barfing, but not embarrassing myself.

"You ride _that_ baby to school?" I gasped the moment I approached.

Tadashi nodded, giving me a weird kind of grin at my choice of words.

"It's beautiful!" I beamed. Mom used to drive one and I totally idolized it.

She, of course, told me to keep my filthy hands to myself. (You know Mom.)

"Well, get on then," Tadashi flashed me a megawatt smile.

**x**

"You live _here_?" I raised my brows. After visiting Buckingham Palace when I was eight and then vowing to acquire it for 15 generations of my descendants, I thought that there was no other place I wanted to have for a home. But as I grew up I learnt that normal people earning normal money (like me) should just be happy with a roof over their heads. That's why I was surprised at what was before me.

A towering four-storey mansion was looming up in front of me as we drove past its front gates. For someone studying in a public school, Tadashi really didn't strike me as someone wealthy. Sure, he was always the neat kid with normal grades and a penchant for reading MotorWorld but that was pretty much how I perceived him.

The normal guy with the slightly immortal looks.

"Young Master, you're home," a middle-aged lady stepped off the steps to the porch where Tadashi stopped the scooter.

"This is Miura-san, our housekeeper," he whispered to me before smiling at the lady who had wrinkles the nice sort of way, if you get what I mean.

"Good afternoon, Miura-san," he greeted. "Could you please show my friend to the Red Room while I put this into the garage?" he gestured to the Vespa.

Miura-san nodded kindly and put a hand on my elbow, steering me towards the front doors of the massive house.

**x**

"They actually have so many rooms that they sort it by color?" I whispered to Miura-san as politely as I could.

Miura-san chortled, "No, dear. It's not like that. It's just more convenient to color code the rooms that don't really belong anywhere."

"What does that mean?"

"We have the Drawing Room, the Recreation Room, the Ballroom, the bedrooms – those are the 'important' rooms. The other rooms all have colors, like the Blue Room, which is actually the place where Master stores his DVDs, the Paisley Room, where Madam stores her fashion collection-"

As Miura-san went on, I muttered, "Oh boy, this is like a fairytale."

It was then we stopped in front of a red door.

_And they tell me it's not sorted by color._

"Oh, we're here!" Miura-san gave me an embarrassed laugh as if she wanted to tell me she was sorry for rambling. I returned with a polite smile.

Miura-san pushed down the golden handle (read: GOLDEN handle) and the door swung open, revealing a grand piano standing in all its regality.

"Please have a seat, I believe Young Master will be coming soon," Miura-san nodded kindly.

I bowed and she left the room quietly, leaving me to take in my surroundings.

**x**

I sat myself down at the piano. It was closed, but even if it were open I wouldn't be able to play it. I never was as good at music as art. In fact, I was pretty horrible.

And what's more, I knew that opening up pianos that weren't your own wasn't polite. _Especially _in the home of the guy you happen to be in love with.

I stood up and walked to the display cupboard – it was made of wood, finely polished, and it looked really old but anyone could see it was well-maintained. In it were lots of black-and-white photos – it made me wonder which was Tadashi because none of the people inside the photos resembled him. They mostly featured kids. Um, to be more exact, they mostly featured the same kid.

Well, it couldn't be him. The photos looked _too_ old and they probably dated back to the fifties, looking at what the little boy was wearing.

_Wait._

_This little boy looks a LOT like Ru._

"Tokita-san," I heard the door click open. Spinning around, I enthused, "You've been keeping a lot from people at school, haven't you?"

"Um, I take that as a compliment. Thank you," Tadashi replied with a somewhat nervous smile. He walked over to me and I asked, "Are these pictures of you?"

He stiffened. "No," he enunciated slowly, "These are of my father."

He looked up to meet my eyes and before I could look away, he whispered, "Hey."

"Hmm?" I felt my heart racing; we were just centimeters away from each other, so close-

"There," Tadashi let out a sigh of relief, after picking a spider off my hair, "all better."

The truth was, I wasn't really afraid of creepy crawlies besides, well, ants.

I just stared, dumbfounded, as Tadashi passed me and walked to a small, round coffee table under the window with two quaint carved wooden chairs facing each other. Recovering quickly, I followed in his wake, mentally kicking myself.

"So, what did you want to tell me today?" I said brightly, probably a tad bit over-enthusiastic in a bid to soothe my thumping heart.

Tadashi looked me squarely in the eye. "I'll get to the point," he leant back and closed his eyes.

My attempt to 'soothe my thumping heart' failed miserably and it simply escalated out of control.

_He's gonna say he loves me and we'll marry and together we'll stay in this mansion have have twenty thousand chil-_

"Stay away from Rukawa," his stare was fixated on me. And it wasn't a normal stare, it was an irate, bone-chilling stare that I somehow couldn't connect with Kawasaki Tadashi.

I responded in the most possible way – "Huh?"

Tadashi sighed, "I know he isn't your cousin."

_Man, this guy a stalker or what?_

"Remember the day you met me in Tokyo?" Tadashi gazed somewhere past my right ear, avoiding my puzzled frown.

"Yes," I replied slowly, not able to understand fully his purpose.

"You think I really couldn't remember his name?"

I held the breath that I just took in my lungs. _What is this boy talking about!_

Tadashi continued, "The moment you left, I stopped laughing."

"Why?" I asked, squriming a little at the memory of pushing Ru away frantically so I could avoid an awkward situation with Tadashi.

Ignoring my question, Tadashi continued, "That day during the basketball match you told me you both were ignoring each other. I was happy for you, Tokita-san. Rukawa is someone you don't want to mix with. Trust me."

I riled back at the hidden snarl in Tadashi's calm words.

Within those few seconds that I tried to conjure a reply to Tadashi, images of Ru flashed in my mind – Ru buying takoyaki for me on payday and saying that I could have most of it, Ru drawing a stupid sketch of me snoring on the sofa, Ru and I quarreling over who was to pay the food bill that month because who didn't flush the toilet how many times, Ru bringing home an injured kitten one day, Ru rushing out to play basketball after the kitten died after an infection, Ru and I burying the kitten in the park…

"Youdon't have a right to say that," I snapped back, aware that I was defending my flatmate aggressively enough to make Tadashi think Ru and I were more than friends.

"You don't know him well enough," Tadashi insisted, his voice becoming more urgent. "You're probably just a friend, no, an acquaintance to him, maybe, but I've known him longer than you have – I've known him almost all my life, and-"

I got up from my seat hotly, not wanting to hear anymore. "I don't care how long you've known him, Kawasaki-kun, but deep down he's a sincere, tender-hearted guy who cares for people in ways that they would never expect," I struggled to be civil. Tadashi was quiet, his gaze averted.

The silence in the room was placid but somehow, threatening.

_Just tell him that you're Ru's flatmate,_ Angel Kaede pleaded.

_No, don't – he may just be misunderstanding Ru! If you tell him that you live with his, uh, nemesis, or so it seems at this point, he'll never reconcile with you, ever! Either Ru dies or you die, Kaede! _Devil Kaede cackled.

_Kaede, you have to defend Ru! _Angel Kaede sobbed.

_No! If you tell him that you guys are flatmates, your hopes of a relationship with Tadashi will be lost forever! _Devil Kaede giggled.

Angel Kaede whispered her final plea, _Are you even sure that you love this boy, now that he has made these claims on Ru…?_

Finally Tadashi spoke, "He fools women as well as he fools men, I can see that. How deep do you know him?"

I did not want to face Tadashi. Was the guy that I had fallen for actually saying all these unkind words about Ru? How could any of it be true?

"Look, Kawasaki-kun, I have no idea where you got all these misconceptions about him from, but trust me, the Rukawa I know isn't like that, okay?" I wheezed, slumping down into my seat, suddenly exhausted with all the drama. "Why are you telling _me_ all this anyway?" I questioned, irritated at Tadashi's persistence in getting me to believe that Ru was from the Dark Side and he and I were allies of the Realm of Light or something.

"You're my… friend," he seemed to step around his words. I snorted at his explanation.

Tadashi tried again, "I don't want you to get hurt by him. You're always around him when I see you out of school, and I thought that you're obsessed with him and I know what kind of person he is and I know what kind of person you are so…"

"So you don't have to dictate what I want to do and what kind of friends I choose, if you know what kind of person I am," I spat.

'_Obsessed with him'? Bad choice of words, Kawasaki._

"I'm not dictating you," Tadashi's eyes widened as he whispered this, obviously horrified that I had thought of something like that. I felt guilty for misreading his intentions, but still – he was insulting my _best friend_!

"Well it sure looked that way!" I feigned annoyance to mask my guilt.

"I'm trying to protect you!" Tadashi cried, wringing his hands in despair.

"I won't be able to understand what the heck is going on unless you tell me why you're making all these claims on him."

Tadashi's arched eyebrows drew together – he was uneasy.

"Just tell me, will you?" I wanted to go up and shake him till his teeth rattled, but I didn't want to make things worse.

"I… can't."

"My goodness, isn't it hard for you?" I muttered sarcastically.

Tadashi stared at me sadly for a few moments before looking away. I sighed, turned on my heel and trudged out.

Never once did I look back.

**x**

Somehow, I wasn't so sure that I was in love with Tadashi anymore. What's more, a little voice kept berating me in my head, saying that I was selfish not to say that Ru was my flatmate I am the ultimatum when it comes to knowing how he is and I kept the truth just because I wanted to see if Tadashi and I could still be together in the future.

I shut my eyes tight.

_Who are you, Tadashi? Why are you so freaking rich? Why are you so set against Ru? What has he done to you?_

"Toki…"

My eyelids flitted open.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

With that Ru walked away from my bunk. I just looked as his figure moved out of the room, casting a shadow on our linoleum floor.

_What was that for? _I asked myself, bewildered.

I was hardly charged up after last night, nursing Ru, and I slept for four hours straight after running home from the Akamiya Estate this afternoon but it wasn't enough to ease the fatigue. I clambered down from my bunk.

"Ru?" I trudged out of the bedroom to The Back, where Ru was working on his proposal. "Sorry I didn't get the takoyaki."

Ru gave a grunt which meant, "It's okay."

"Um, what was that 'thank you' for?"

Ru turned and pointed to the easel, and I blushed. "Oh, that," I gave a frantic mop of my forehead even though there was no sweat, "That's nothing."

I really get uncomfortable when people 'discover' my work. It's like stealing in on something that's private, you know? And they manage to give critiques even before I have a chance to explain what it's about and all that.

"It's something," Ru said softly, still working on his concept sheet, his hand moving deftly across the paper. "Encouragement, Toki," he shrugged, "That's what it is."

He spun to look at me, his eyes telling me he really liked it.

"You don't usually talk so much about a piece of art, you know," I laughed, drawing my chair up beside him.

"I only talk when I am involved in the piece of art, and seeing that the artist has chosen to draw me, of course I have things to say," his concentration moved back to his storyboard.

I could see the hint of tugging at the corners of his lips, but that's how he communicates, I guess. He gives this sort of half-smile that doesn't even qualify as a half-smile… But it's worth it to even have that. I loved this boy, but I didn't fall in love with him. I loved him as I loved Matsu, and that was what made it special.

I looked at him in wonder, _This guy drawing in front of me is someone I mentored, someone I watched open up to me, someone who loves his family enough to sacrifice all that he has._

_There is no way, no way at all, that what Tadashi said was true._

"I think your drawing skills have dipped, though. My cheeks look too round," he noted solemnly.

I hit him in response and exclaimed, "_You _try doing shades in oils!"

He pushed my forehead back lightly and muttered, "Do'ahou," before going back to his work.

_No freaking way._

**x**

"Ru," I tried to sound casual that evening as he was brushing his teeth, "do you know Kawasaki-kun very well? As in, from junior high?"

Ru shrugged.

I took that as a no.

"But you certainly did hear about him right? I mean, he's good looking and everything," I pressed on, thankful that Ru thought that I was being interested in Tadashi that's why I was asking.

Ru stopped brushing and turned to look at me. His was literally foaming at the mouth and looked as if he had rabies.

Then he pointed to himself, let the finger linger for a few brief seconds, before turning back to brush his teeth.

That meant, "So am I."

I made a face and said, "You're such a male! But seriously, was he popular in school?"

Ru gave a shrug.

This probably indicated that Ru didn't know because he was asleep most of the time in school. One more point to the drooling flatmate, ping ping ping.

"Well," I fretted, "do any of your other friends know about Kawasaki-kun when he was in junior high?"

Ru seemed a little weird at this point, irritated even. He rinsed his mouth and plonked the toothbrush into the container a little harder than he needed to and turned slowly to face me.

"I don't know," he mumbled, walking past me and saying, "Your turn."

My eyebrows furrowed at his sudden change in attitude and I absent-mindedly picked up my toothbrush. Why was he being so _pissy_?

I fingered my toothbrush absent-mindedly and then I suddenly realized something about it. It was my toothbrush, all right, but it was wet. I touched the other toothbrush, and it was… dry. Which meant…

"OI! YOU SLIMY DROOL BALL! WHY DID YOU USE MY TOOTHBRUSH? THAT WAS MY FIRST KISS!"

_Sigh. Men._


	7. The maple and the pine

_Chapter 7_

School had been cancelled because of the emergency general meeting that our principal called for all the teachers and parents of the 'student vandals' so I could finally redeem hours of my beauty sleep.

I woke up at 5 pm (no surprise there) and found a note on the fridge while I wanted to make myself breakfast. Okay wait, it was dinner, come to think of it.

**Submitting my proposal today. You'd better get a head start on yours because you're paying the next food bill.**

My eyebrows shot up in surprise, translating Ru's message. I pulled open the door of the fridge – great, new stock. He actually went grocery shopping.

_How could Tadashi be right?_

**x**

"Coming!" I yelled and tore my eyes away from the TV.

Yes, I was being a regular couch potato with ice-cream as my dinner and TV as my companion. The doorbell can be _such_ a party pooper.

It rang a few more times as I was walking across the living room. I muttered, "Man, can't you wait?" as I peeped through the door viewer.

"Mom?" I swung open the door in shock.

Mom twiddled her fingers at me and chided, "What took you so long?" Then she walked in without even being invited.

I groaned loudly and shut the door.

"I like your place! Daddy is spoiling you, I bet," she threw herself on the couch.

I walked over and asked gingerly, "Do you happen to be, uh, _alcoholised_?"

Mom shot me a look. "If you haven't noticed already, I'm speaking English, thank you!" she snapped. "And why aren't you in school?"

"It's cancelled, there was a protest yesterday," I sighed heavily, pushing my mom upright and resuming my place on the couch. I grabbed my box of Milk Supreme (I know, totally weird name for chocolate ice-cream) and spooned a chunk into my mouth.

Mom grabbed the ice-cream off my hand and I glared at her.

She shrugged and said, "Ice-cream makes you fat. Now gimme the spoon."

When I didn't comply she snatched it away.

"I give up," I mumbled, knowing that I couldn't do anything else. She was much stronger than I was, physically – she was the one who went to the gym four times a week and ate protein supplements. Plus she has killer boobs, remember?

"Mom, if you knew I would be in school… How come you still came knocking?" I realized, turning over to her.

She paused her guzzling of Milk Supreme and swallowed. "I wanted to give it a try," she grinned. "If you weren't home I could go over to my bloke's."

"Your _boyfriend_?" I exclaimed in horror.

Mom nodded proudly, without the slightest trace of shame.

"Ewww!" I couldn't help myself.

She hit my head with the spoon. "Did you say the same thing to your dad when _he_ got that sex bomb?"

"She's not a sex bomb, Mom," I rolled my eyes.

"Oh so now you're defending her?"

"I'm not!" I was shocked at how incredulous my mom could be. "Okay, forget it."

Mom was quiet as she shoved ice-cream into her mouth. I looked at her outfit. Tight-fitting pink t-shirt screaming "I graduated with a degree in Shopping", denim mini, bling bling on her wrists, and makeup.

"You going on a date?" I giggled.

Mom shot me another look. "Why do you ask?"

"You're dressed like an overage teenager."

That earned me another hit on the head with the spoon. "I am dressed perfectly normal, if I may say so."

"Even I don't dress like that."

"You dress drab, I can't say much," Mom laughed in my face. I rolled my eyes again but had to silently confess that she was right. I never wore skirts because of the lack of convenience and my uniform out of school was a T-shirt and jeans or capris.

"Hey why don't we have a makeover?" Mom suggested brightly, drawing my attention away from the soap showing on TV.

"Nah, I don't have any makeup for you to play with," I muttered.

Mom got really excited and bounced in her seat. "WE CAN GO SHOPPING!"

"No money," I lied.

"Haha. You are supposed to be one hell of a wicked manga artist but you don't have money?"

"I'm in a partnership with the publishing house!" I defended. "I don't get all the money."

"But you _do_ have some money, right?" Mom insisted smugly.

I just kept my eyes glued to the TV, not wanting to confess anything. "I don't want to go shopping," I yawned, stretching.

Mom lay her head on my shoulder and whined, "Please?"

"No."

Mom then hit me hard on my arm.

"No," I gritted my teeth, keeping my eyes on the TV.

Mom sighed and slumped back on the couch. Then she got up slowly as if she was remembering something. "Eddy…"

"Why did you call me that?" I grumbled. Nobody had called me that for years; Matsu was the one who started it.

"Where's your dad?" she whispered.

I rolled my eyes, "He's in Takamatsu, of course."

"Getting it down with his girlfriend? In some godforsaken little town?" Mom shrieked.

"Uh, no? He lives there now. Didn't he tell you?"

Mom's stare hardened. "Are you trying to tell me that you're living alone? That's why I don't hear the clack clack clack of the computer that usually goes on the whole day in that crummy little room he usually cordons off?"

"Mom, I told you the last time we met in the airport that I was living with Rukawa."

"I was drunk, I can't remember _everything_! And who's Rukawa?"

"My flatmate."

"Strange name for a girl."

"Guy. My flatmate's a guy."

"WHAAAAT?"

**x**

This was it. The big confession.

"You!" Mom pointed a finger at me before withdrawing it and muttering, "Good gracious, I need a manicure."

"Mom, if you want to threaten me you could at least do it properly."

"I don't need you to tell me what to do!" Mom started to get into her conception of disciplinary action but I held up my hands.

"Look, you got to let me explain!" I defended. Mom let down her guard and I shot, "This poor boy has two siblings and his dad is missing. I took him in because his mom couldn't cope with the expenses, and that's the whole story. We haven't had sex, we aren't even in love with each other and he's a decent chap."

Mom snorted, "Yeah, at this age all guys are decent to you."

"Mom, just trust me. I've been living with him for over a year now."

"WHAAAAAT!"

"Whoa, chill. Mom, you aren't exactly an exemplary model of conduct, so why are you reacting so bad?" I countered cautiously.

Mom widened her eyes and said, "Because men are not to be trusted, and you're my daughter."

"Okay, Mom. You got to get this straight. My flatmate and I are not in a relationship! We're just _friends_," I stressed. "Get it? We share the same room but not the same bed. We share food but not saliva, well except for the occasional toothbrush mishap. We share _detergent_, not _body fluids_."

Mom seemed to calm down at this and for good measure, I added, "You can meet him later. He'll be back in two hours."

Mom sighed. She looked at her nails and said, "You know Eddy, you're growing up so fast. You're how old now? Sixteen?"

"Seventeen. Eighteen in March."

"And you've finished your finals?"

"Two months ago."

Tears suddenly sprang into Mom's eyes and I panicked. "What's wrong, Mom? You all right?"

Mom wiped her eyes and replied, "I realize that you're my daughter but I don't know you at all."

I gave a soft laugh, not unkindly. "Mom, I've always been able to take care of myself. And there was Dad…" I trailed off before shrugging. "Don't blame yourself. I know what kind of person you are and I can accept it."

Mom gave me a forlorn look. "You are so different from what I was at your age. I was _pregnant _at your age."

"Aw, Mom."

"And your dad was my Mother-Tongue home tutor, imagine that."

"Yes, I know."

"I feel so stupid," Mom closed her eyes and lay back on the couch.

I kept quiet, not knowing what to say, and the best I could do was to reach over and give her a hug. She sobbed into my shoulder for the longest time, whispering 'sorry' over and over again.

I just told her, "It's okay."

**x**

There was a click in the door and Ru stepped in. He took off his shoes and wore his house slippers. Mom hadn't seen his face yet, and she was staring at him in interest. I was nervous, for some reason. My mom could be weird when she wanted to.

"Mazzy!" Mom gasped, when a startled Ru met her gaze.

He bowed and mumbled a soft, "Good evening."

Mom shot to her feet and peered closely at him. "What's your name?"

Ru looked at me quizzically and I frowned slightly before gesturing with my head for him to reply my mom.

"…Rukawa Kaede."

"Are you," Mom stepped around him, looking at him closely from head to toe, "in any way related to a certain Kawasaki Matsu?"

Ru gave me a pointed look. I shrugged and mouthed, "She's not drunk."

Ru's eyelids drooped as if to tell me, "Then what?"

"Boy!" Mom commanded, startling the both of us kids. "Reply me!"

"No, I'm not related to Kawasaki Matsu," Ru stepped back a little. Mom stopped circling him.

"Really?" she gasped, disbelieving.

"Yes."

"Uh, Mom, what's wrong with you?"

Mom shrugged, looked at Ru much more closely, before remembering something. "Um, do you happen to know a certain, ah, what's her name… Ah forget it. I can't remember."

I was burning with curiosity, though, at Mom's peaked interest in Ru's ancestry. "Mom, come on. Try to think."

"Um.." Mom squinted, trying to call up a name. "Chizuru? Was that it? You related to someone with that name?"

Ru stared hard at Mom before setting his mouth in an expressionless line.

"That's my mother's name."

**x**

Mom paced around the room, shaking her head in disbelief. "I can't believe this," she beamed, "You _must _be Mazzy's kid!"

I signaled for Mom to shut up when Ru started to sulk.

You see, Ru has never met his dad. His dad was a sea merchant, having received not much education, and his mother received money from wherever the ship docked. His father disappeared when he was ten in, according to his mom, a marine accident.

"Mom, you're upsetting him," I warned.

Mom stopped prattling and glanced at him.

In response, Ru stuck his hands in his pockets and went into the room, shutting the door.

**x**

"Oh, I didn't know," Mom grinned sheepishly, back into her teenybopper mode.

"Go apologize!" I pushed her towards the bedroom.

Mom stared at me. "You really do care for him, don't you?"

I raised my eyebrows. "If you're implying anything, it better be along the lines of 'my-daughter-is-such-a-compassionate-human-being.'"

Mom snickered and knocked on the door of the room before turning the doorknob. I followed her in, leaning against the doorjamb.

"Um, Rukawa-kun?" Mom enunciated in that English accent of hers. "Would you please listen to something that I want to say?"

Ru looked up from his reference manga expectantly before standing up to face my mother. It was a form of respect - that boy always had a thing about elders, even with people like my mom.

Mom smiled, "Well. Let's sit down, shall we? Eddy, could I have a chair? Thank you."

I went to the studio and hurriedly got a chair for my mother. As I was wheeling it back I wondered what Mom was going to tell Ru, besides apologizing. She seemed to be holding something in.

**x**

"Rukawa-kun, I am sorry if I upset you just now. It's just that…" Mom trailed off, before resuming, "…You look so much like a very old friend. A very _good _friend."

"Who?" I asked out of curiosity, even though I knew it wasn't any of my business.

"Well, as you may know I grew up in London and studied at an international school. I had a home back in Tokyo, of course, and the Kawasaki family lived just next door. They had a son my brother's age, and we called him Mazzy. We would spend every summer together - my brother, Mazzy and I," Mom smiled fondly at the memory.

Mom directed to Ru, "I visited Japan as usual for the summer when I was eighteen. My brother didn't go because he was in Italy. That summer, Mazzy revealed to me that he had a girlfriend, Chizuru. I was so happy for him – he introduced her to me and told me how wonderful she was and how happy he was with her. So we went to a restaurant to celebrate their eleven month anniversary."

I yawned. "Mom, your story is getting very long."

"Oh hang on, I'm just hitting the climax! Okay Rukawa-kun, so here's what happened," Mom scowled at me. I made a face behind her back.

"On our way up to the second floor of the restaurant, where our table was at, a man came crashing down the stairs, rushing to some place and he pushed me by accident. I rolled down the stairs and, as you expect, started bleeding. Yup, I was pregnant, I didn't know it, and Mazzy and his girlfriend saved me by calling the ambulance and staying by me all the way, holding my hands and telling me everything would be fine."

"Whoa, was that baby me?" I cried.

Mom shook her head sadly. "I had a miscarriage. Your dad was so worried for me that he proposed."

I laughed but stopped as it hit me – "You never told me you had a miscarriage!"

"Ah well," Mom shrugged. "So anyway, I had to leave for London shortly after. I received a get-well card from Mazzy and Chizuru when I was recuperating back at home, but when I tried to invite them for my wedding a year later I found out the Kawasakis weren't living there anymore. I've lost touch with them since. And of course, Chizuru as well. So when Matsu was born, I named him after Mazzy, just to remember him – a dear friend that I had lost contact with."

There was a moment's pause before Mom continued, "I'm sorry if I upset you just now, Rukawa-kun. It's just that… You look so much, so much like him. I would give anything to meet him again. And Chizuru, of course."

Ru nodded in understanding.

Mom suddenly chuckled, "I wonder if your mom is the Chizuru that I'm talking about! You know, coincidences happen, like you and Eddy sharing the same name."

"Oh please, Mom, it would be too much of a coincidence," I laughed, brushing it off.

"If coincidence didn't exist, why would there be a word for it?" Ru suddenly spoke, stunning me into silence.

"I didn't say coincidence doesn't exist," I retorted lamely.

Ru gave a brief tilt of his head before shrugging.

**x**

I gave Mom a hug from the back to avoid her breasts and reminded her to be careful not to get mugged on her way to her boyfriend's place. Mom giggled and said I was crazy.

Watching Mom put on her shoes made me remember how Matsu would rush to put on his shoes whenever we were leaving the home for some excursion…

"So, Mom. Matsu was named after your best friend. Why wasn't I named after your best friend's girlfriend?" I joked.

Mom replied seriously, "Because Mazzy and I made a pact."

"What pact?" I raised my eyebrows, not believing Mom would be involved in such old-fashioned pact-making stuff.

"To name our first child Kaede."


	8. Are they really?

Well, it's obvious isn't it! Thanks to the many that reviewed, I love each and every single one of you.

**x**

_Chapter 8_

I guess it was a mistake when I chose to talk to Ru about his dad.

"Ru!" I followed him to the room, quickening my pace in case he slammed the door in my face. "Look, I'm sorry, but I really need to know more about your dad.I know you don't like it-"

To my horror Ru was drawing a travel bag out of the closet.

"What are you doing?" I screeched.

He started to shove clothes into the bag and I threw my hands up in the air in exasperation.

"Look, Ru. You got to control your temper! You're always flaring up, you should be more understanding - at least hear me out! I know you're bothered about your dad and stuff, but there's no reason not to hear what I have to say!"

Ru glared, "My father abandoned us when I was ten, Toki. You think it's easy to brush that fact across?"

"I thought you said he was involved in an accident—"

"He was," Ru snapped, "but which ten-year-old would accept that excuse of a reason for parental absence?"

"Ru," I pleaded, "Listen to me."

"I'll give you a choice. Either you don't talk about it, or I leave your place right now."

I put up my hands and waved the white flag, and only then did Ru put down his bag.

**x**

There were two questions sounding their unnerving drums in my head as I tossed around that night.

_One._

_Why did Ru not say his father's name when my mom asked if he was Mazzy's son? He just said no, he was not related to Mazzy. The loophole here is that we don't know Ru's dad at all, nor his name._

_Two._

_If Mom and Mazzy said that they'll each name their firstborns Kaede, then why is Ru, being _younger_ than Tadashi, having the name 'Kaede'? Ru couldn't have been the firstborn if Tadashi's older. What's the reason of this glitch in logic?_

I sighed, put my hands on my tummy and tried to make my breathing hypnotize me to sleep.

**x**

"Morning," I yawned to Sayaka as I took my seat behind her. She raised her eyebrows and whispered, "Did you get wasted last night? You know it's illegal."

I shook my mane of entangled hair away from my shoulders and glared at her. My eyes hurt from the effort, but I was valiant in my attempt to intimidate my classmate.

Operative word being 'attempt'.

I shut my eyes and sighed, "I couldn't sleep last night."

"Yeah, we all can see that," Sendoh chimed as he took the seat beside me and winked at Sayaka, who smiled warmly back. I blinked at their display and squawked, "Did I miss anything? Hmmm?"

When they both smiled dreamy, knowing grins at each other I made a face and went, "Oh, ew."

Sendoh laughed and clapped me on the back. "You have so much to learn, young'un."

"Oh, shut up," I closed my eyes and lay on my folded arms, a plan suddenly forming in my head.

**x**

"Hey, young'un," I grinned and tweaked Ru's nose as I ambushed him. His eyebrows shot up in surprise – even the Icecube couldn't conceal shock when it came to me making an appearance in Shohoku.

"What are you doing here?" he mumbled, shifting his basketball bag to his other shoulder.

"I needed to speak to you urgently," I laughed. "On the way to the gym, aren't you? For practice?"

"Yeah."

"You still pissed at me?"

"No."

"Good. Will I be murdered by any females if I walk you to the gym?"

"Don't be stupid."

I laughed and socked his arm. "Listen. You hate Tadashi?"

Ru frowned and shook his head. "Don't even know him."

"Exactly. So, I need you to help me. I need you to provide me access to classified information."

"What are you talking about, Toki?" Ru stopped and stared at me like I was nuts. "Are you role-playing for some new manga plot? What are you writing about? Kindaichi-influenced material?"

I laughed. "Trust me on this. I have a gut feeling."

"You had a gut feeling that I was going to die six months ago because I ate expired rice pudding."

Giving him a mock punch, I sighed and said, "Okay, call me crazy, but… I really _do_ suspect that you're Tadashi's brother."

**x**

"Hel-lo, uh…" I started, unable to think of a proper address.

"Aunt Chizuru would be fine," Rukawa's mom embarrassedly tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, perched awkwardly on the couch. She was fingering the hem of her over-sized T-shirt.

"Your eldest son brought his siblings to the playground," I grinned. "We can chat to our hearts content."

The petite frame of Aunt Chizuru rocked slightly at she giggled, raising her thin hands to her mouth. Then, she adjusted her position on the couch sat up straight, clutching her knees and bowing shyly, as if she were younger than me.

"Aunt Chizuru," I took her hand, "why are you so nervous?"

Aunt Chizuru gave me a tiny smile. "It's just difficult not to be. You helped Kaede so much, I feel so… so indebted to you. And you're so young, so capable—"

I held her hand tighter and shook my head. "I'm not like that, please. And _please _don't cry. It's just my duty to help a friend in need. Furthermore, I was his mentor. I had a responsibility for him, even though it was merely a slight one."

She held my gaze and looked, again, on the brink of tears.

"No, no, Aunt Chizuru. Don't cry. If it makes you feel better, I'm a year older than he is. I have to take care of him. He's like my little brother."

Aunt Chizuru nodded and held back her tears.

"So," she tried her best to recover, "Kaede told me that you have questions about our family."

I nodded sheepishly. "I really hope you're not angry, me probing like this."

"Kaede," she smiled, the wrinkles in her eyes creasing her face, "You have done so much for _my_ Kaede. I think it will be inappropriate for me to withhold anything from you that will help him."

Inhaling deeply, I took the first plunge. "Aunt Chizuru, would you please tell me the reason why you told Ru that his father's name is Rukawa Masayoshi?"

"Hm?" Aunt Chizuru was rather startled by the question. "What do you mean…"

"I know that your husband's name is not Rukawa Masayoshi. It's Kawasaki Matsu, isn't it?" I bent forward, my eyes searching her features for any hint of discomfort.

Aunt Chizuru took a deep breath and shakily asked, "How did you know that?"

Okay, so apparently Ru hadn't told her about the stuff Mom and Tadashi said. Darn that silly boy.

"So it's true," I sadly looked away, leaning back into the couch, folding my arms. "I know it's none of my business, but I believe another family is involved – I know a boy called Tadashi and his father looks very much like Ru so I'm concluding that their fathers are the same. What's more, Tadashi's surname is Kawasaki. If you put two and two together, plus what my mother told me, I don't think it's difficult to guess what the whole story is."

"Who…" Aunt Chizuru swallowed the crack in her voice, "Who is your mother?"

I smiled at her initiative to discuss the matter further and said, "You may know her as Erin. Erin Kadohata."

**x**

"I was Matsu's very first girlfriend and naturally, after high school he went off to university and promised to marry me. However, it was at that point in time, just when he graduated from high school, when his family's business went into major financial problems. That's when they moved away from that big house beside your mother's."

I nodded and urged Aunt Chizuru to continue.

She took a deep breath before cocking her head and frowning at the empty space opposite her, as if trying hard to remember.

"Matsu… Sorry I need to compose myself a little. Well, Matsu told me that his father was forcing him into marriage with an older woman who was from a incredibly rich family that could help him out of financial crisis. A few years older, of course, not too much, but still it was a forced marriage. We planned to elope to Okinawa the following night but his family put him under house arrest," Aunt Chizuru smiled as I held her hand. The tears were threatening to spill out of her eyes and I hurriedly passed her a tissue.

"You don't have to continue if you don't want to…" I furrowed my eyebrows and patted her hand.

"It's okay, dear. As you may have guessed, Matsu ended up marrying her. He vowed never to have children with her but a few months into the relationship she spiked his drink and she managed to conceive that night."

"That's despicable!" I gasped. "I mean, drugging your own husband-"

"Oh Kaede, we can't control what other people do," Aunt Chizuru shook her head sadly. "But that incident totally wrecked Matsu's trust in her and he never had children with her again. I believe she was very hurt by it because from what I heard from Matsu, her actions show that she is quite obsessed with him, to an extent that she's possessive."

I nodded slowly, and asked, "I'm sorry for being rude, Aunt Chizuru, but are the rest of your children also fathered by him?"

Aunt Chizuru nodded solemnly, "Yes. Matsu has always regarded me as his wife instead of that woman, and he would spend a few days with me, but never nights, when he came back from business trips overseas. I didn't mind being a kept woman, because Matsu regarded me as his wife. But those were the early years before Matsu gave up working in the family business."

I sighed and shook my head. It was hard to see Aunt Chizuru as a kept woman because she was so gentle and, well, kind. Normally the words 'kept woman' give you the impression of a made-up, red-lipped, miniskirt-donning chick wannabe who is over age, you know?

Oh man, that is so Mom.

**x**

I took a deep breath and stared at the weird device that was mounted upon the brick column the gate was attached to.

_How do I work this?_ I wondered, staring at the myriad of buttons.

_Why do they have so many buttons on a simple doorbell?_ I fretted, pressing a red one that was labeled with a '1'.

There was nothing going on, so I waited about a minute before I pressed it again.

I rolled my eyes at the slowness of everything and glanced at my watch in irritation. _08:52 PM. _Great, I had been waiting for a wretched six minutes.

I was about to walk away when the faint hum of _something_ familiar, yet not too familiar, reached my ears.

_What's that sound…_I mused, frowning in an attempt to remember. As it got closer, my eyes widened, the consequences of the darned red button turning the corner right in front of me.

"Oh, crap!" I hissed to myself, the fire engine looming closer and closer before halting to a stop in front of the Kawasaki mansion. "You guys have a direct-connect to the fire station?" I muttered under my breath towards the house.

A fireman hit another red button labeled '2' and the gates swung open. Apparently they had done it before.

_What, the Akamiya estate is particularly susceptible to fire?_ I wondered as I glanced to the house opposite, which also had the same set of buttons on its gates.

The fire engine made its way past the gates as lights went on in the mansion. I realized that I had made a terrific blunder and in a panic, sprinted down the driveway to exit the estate.

_Sheesh_, I whipped out my phone. _So much for trying to meet you face to face_, I grumbled inwardly as I dialed Tadashi's number.

**x**

I sighed as Tadashi entered MOS Burger in his white and blue Ryonan tennis polo. _He's just so utterly handsome_, I sighed again.

Waving to beckon Tadashi to the booth, I thought how mad he looked when he was telling me about Ru.

_What can I do to make this easy…? _ I frowned as he came nearer.

"Hey," he gave me a small, wary smile.

"Hey", I greeted back, slightly nervous.

"So… What did you mean when you said you know everything?" Tadashi propped his elbows on the table and folded his fingers as I sipped my milk tea.

"Uhhh… Don't take this too hard, okay?" I swallowed the sweet, cool liquid and chewed on my lower lip.

Tadashi brushed my hand lightly with his fingers and my skin tingled like the time I _almost_ got electrocuted while helping to jump start the family car when it broke down in Scotland.

"Just tell me," he whispered earnestly from across the booth.

"Wait, we have to wait for somebody," I gave him a small, reassuring smile.

His eyes narrowed and before he could say anything, Ru entered the fast food joint.

**x**

"Right, boys, you guys got to get some facts clear. Kawasaki-kun, you have to listen first," I looked at both of them.

Tadashi glared at Ru, who shrugged back.

"Kawasaki-kun, I think you dislike Ru because you feel that his family came between your family and your father, right?" I quizzed, pointing a french fry at him. "You knew the truth earlier than any of us, even if it was only part of the truth."

Tadashi nodded sullenly.

"And Ru, you feel a large sense of animosity to your dad because you think he's not been there for your family these years."

Ru agreed by picking up a fry.

"Okay, Ru. Do you remember a teacher called Kawasaki Matsu in your junior high?"

Tadashi snorted and said, "He drooled his way through junior high."

Ru shrugged to show he didn't remember.

"Well," I sighed, "that figures. Your father was your Math teacher for 3 years and you spaced all the way?"

"I hated Math," Ru chose to speak.

"Okay you guys. You're not seeing the great love of a man for his sons! He became a teacher so that he could watch over you two, so that you two could come to acknowledge each other as brothers!" I threw up my hands in exasperation.

Tadashi snarled, "It doesn't work that way, Tokita-san. My father did not love me at all, he only loved this bastard."

Ru's eyes flashed and I held his hand to keep him from hitting anybody. I used to hold Matsu's – my brother Matsu – hand to keep him from hitting himself, and Ru was the next closest thing to a brother.

Tadashi couldn't see what was going on under the table because we were sitting in a booth, but it didn't stop him from going on about Ru.

"My father would engage me in private conversations on how my younger brother was a genius at art, how my younger brother could play basketball so well, how my younger brother this and that. He never cared when I topped the class, he never cared when I competed at national level for tennis. He only cared about my little brother," Tadashi spat.

"Tadashi," I called him aloud by his name for the first time, "I think your problem is that you're jealous of Ru. Completely and utterly jealous. It's understandable, really, but don't you think it's overboard?"

"I think my father was _overboard_, if you want my opinion!" Tadashi whispered fiercely in quiet, seething anger.

I shook my head in protest. "Your father still loves you. He may not love your mother, but he loves you. He didn't give you the name Kaede because he didn't regard your mother as his wife, and thus Ru ended up with the name because he regarded Ru as his first son, borne by the woman that he loves. But you are still his flesh and blood, and he named you Tadashi. Do you have any idea what that means? The significance of your name?"

Tadashi started to open his mouth to retort but realized what I was getting at.

"_Only_," Ru's calm voice entered the atmosphere. "Your name means that, if I'm not wrong about the kanji."

"Yes," I nodded earnestly, "_only_. Your father gave you that name because in that family of yours, you're the only one he loves truly."

"It was too hard on my mom," Tadashi was still angry but a little less, as he slumped into the soft cushioned backing of the booth.

Then, his eyes suddenly flew open in a new rage and he reiterated more strongly, "It was _hell _for my mom."

With that, he got up and I started to get up too but of course Ru was in my way and that stalled me. I chased after Tadashi - bursting out of MOS Burger I ran as fast as I could after that dark shadow in the dim evening light. He turned at the blind spot, and I did too. My stamina was giving way. He just kept running down the road and crossed the narrow gravel lane that led to the way to his estate - I followed. My feet left the sidewalk and I reached the middle of the lane, Ru was right behind me and would catch up very soon-

"Watch out!" I heard Ru's voice and saw a bright, yellow glare before I realized what was happening. I remember Tadashi shouting my name, too.

You know sometimes when you see deer caught in headlights? Impending danger but all it can do is stay rooted like it doesn't remember it can run?

That was how I was.

I did hear the screech of tires, which was rather reassuring, but I also heard a huge bang and it was at that very precise moment that I passed out.


	9. All you can do is to wait

I am so, so, so sorry I took so long. The next chapter should end the whole story. Hopefully, it will be created faster than this one. Thanks to all who reviewed, and all who support this fic. You guys are wonderful. It's been an encouragement to read the reviews. Please, enjoy.

**x**

_Chapter 9_

"Oh, no, no don't do this, my daughter's here-"

_Mom._

"Your daughter hasn't woken up yet..."

_A man._

"But it's wrong…"

Then I heard the door click open. "Uh, am I interrupting something?"

_Sendoh._

"Hello, Erin-san!"

_Sayaka._

"Ehehehe, hello."

_Mom's embarrassed._

"I- should be going…"

_The stranger's embarrassed too. Ah._

Then the curtain slid open with noisy, successive clicks of the little whatever-you-call-thems way up there on the bar that the curtains were hung on.

"Hello," Sayaka smiled at me, and I tried to smile back, but my face didn't want to cooperate with me and I ended up looking as if I was in excruciating pain.

"Oh no, does your head still hurt?" Sendoh came up behind her.

"Well," Sayaka turned to face him, "what do you expect? Kaede just woke up this morning."

"Come on, save me a shred of dignity at least," Sendoh nudged Sayaka before grinning sheepishly at me. "Sorry," he rubbed the back of his head, directing his apology to me.

Now, contrary to popular belief, Sendoh's hair was not always like he had a hedgehog growing on his head. In our first year his hair was actually in dreadlocks past his ears.

I wasn't his classmate in first-year, but he was this basketball guy and even though I had never watched a basketball game, people would point and say, "That's the basketball ace, the one with the dreadlocks" whenever he walked down the hallways with his gang of friends.

I am not kidding.

Sendoh then walked over to me and whispered into my ear, "You mother was getting a foot massage from the physiotherapist. Don't think about anything else."

I really giggled this time, and it caused me so much pain that tears sprang to my eyes. The tubes in my nose were killing me.

"Don't make me laugh," I mumbled through a smile.

"So how does it feel to be alive again?" Sendoh quizzed me cheekily.

Sayaka rolled her eyes in a don't-be-daft-she-wasn't-dead-in-the-first-place manner and wiped the tears away from my temples. I had attempted to brush them off, but my hand only just moved past the blanket.

I blinked slowly and told them, "I can feel my hands, my feet... They don't listen to me much. A week in coma. Crazy. Retardation."

"Tokita, did you get wired wrongly after your operation? You're speaking haiku," Sendoh laughed, along with Sayaka who was arranging the flowers by my bed.

I heard the door slam and Koshino emerged from behind Sendoh and Sayaka.

"Sorry I'm late," he panted at the couple. "Hey, Tokita," he grinned at me. "How's it going?"

I smiled and mouthed "I'm fine", exhausted from being awake.

"Koshino's given up on you, you know," Sayaka giggled softly into my ear, shooting a sly look at the subject of mention.

"Sayaka!" Koshino hissed, blushing a beet-red.

"Yeah, he knew he couldn't beat Kawasaki Tadashi," Sendoh whispered in my other ear.

"SENDOH!" Koshino socked his so-called best friend on the back.

Sendoh laughed and rubbed his back. "It's the truth, buddy. I'm just telling her the truth!"

Koshino sighed and said to me, "They call themselves my friends."

I chortled quietly, "Kawasaki and I aren't together."

"Hmm," Sendoh hmm-ed in a voice that made me suspect it wasn't any old 'hmm', "I think I know why. You have a boyfriend already, right?"

I shook my head slowly.

"But we saw him," Sayaka blurted, before her hands flew up to her mouth. "This isn't my business," she quipped in embarrassment.

_Ah. Ru._

"What? What?" Koshino frantically jumped around my two other classmates. He was always very unobservant when it came to things like that.

"I don't like him that way," I mumbled.

"That's what you say," Sendoh winked.

"Idiot," I retorted as vehemently as I could, which was barely a growl anyway.

**x**

"Sendoh-kun _did _tell you that I wasn't fooling around right?" my mother stroked my forehead, grinning.

I nodded slowly, flexing my calves under the sheets.

"Physio guy."

Mom grinned even wider. "He's cute," she laughed.

"Ru…?" I asked, catching sight of the clock. Basketball practice would have ended.

"He's on his way. You sure he's just your 'younger brother'? You're so concerned for him," she playfully tapped my nose.

I grimaced – Mom had accidentally knocked on the tubes in my nose. According to my doctors, I had an asthma attack in the ambulance which almost killed me. That was why I had tubes up my nose.

"Ouch, sorry," Mom squinted at me apologetically. "You didn't feel the pain when you were in a coma."

No wonder I had dreamt that my nose-clip fell off when I was fantasizing about being in a synchronized swimming competition. Not that it was my secret passion, I'm no Water Boy. Sometimes comatose patients have vivid illusions.

"Honestly," Mom continued, paying no regard to my attempt to glare, "I think he has feelings for you."

"Don't be daft," I retorted in English.

"It's true, Eddy. He kept vigil by your bedside. He didn't make any motion to touch you, of course, but he would just gaze and you for hours on end. Oh but his eyes! They just tell you that he's _longing _for you to wake up."

"Where's Tadashi?" I changed the subject.

Mom shrugged, giving up the topic. "He disappeared after Rukawa-kun beat him up for making you chase after him. It amazes me how both of them are Mazzy's sons."

I raised my eyebrows. "You know?"

"Of course I know. I'm your mother."

I stared at her.

"Oh, okay," she threw up her hands, "I asked Rukawa-kun."

"He told…?"

Mom cocked her head, as if in deep thought. "Not really… I had to force it out of him in bits and pieces. But since I knew a lot of details already I just had to put the pieces together. Your mother's not stupid, you know. Unfortunately," she looked at me with a glint in her eye, "you took after your father."

Being an invalid for the time being, I restrained my urge to retaliate.

**x**

I remember watching a Kindaichi rerun in the ward, a week before I was discharged, when the opening bars of my ringtone punctuated the air.

_Ah, trust these people to call me just when it gets to the exciting part,_ I grumbled inwardly, reaching for the phone.

_Who could it be…?_ I glanced at the screen. _Oh. Hmm._

I was apprehensive. The number on the display was Tadashi's.

"Hello?" I answered cautiously.

"…Tokita-san?"

_Yep, it's him._

"Tadashi, right?"

"Yes."

There was a pretty long silence.

"Tokita-san… I'm sorry."

I bit my lip, not knowing what to say.

"I'm sorry I was childish, and not able to understand your intentions… I'm sorry that I couldn't see beyond the sacrifices of my mother but I've talked to my dad about it and I've gotten things straight. I'm just so sorry that I-"

I sighed, "Tadashi, let's not talk about it. It's over now."

"But-"

"Tadashi," I put my foot down firmly on the matter, "don't."

There was a pause before he whispered, "I truly want to apologise."

I nodded. "Don't worry about it… We're still friends."

"One more thing."

"Yup?"

He took a deep breath. "I'm leaving for Canada in two days."

I was surprised, extremely in fact. "What for?"

"For college. To study. I got accepted in a university there."

"Congratulations," was the only thing I could say.

**x**

I could not understand the extreme politeness that was existent between Tadashi and me. There was none of that before, somehow, not even when I was deeply in love with him. I had thought that he was a mature and understanding person, but…

I really couldn't understand my feelings towards him. At least, not at that point in time.

**x**

"Take the lower bunk," Ru mumbled, "I've changed the sheets."

Mom beamed at him, before giving me a knowing look. "You are soooo considerate, Rukawa-kun!"

"Quit it, Mom," I shot her a warning look before nodding my thanks to Ru. She shooed herself out of the room and went towards the kitchen. The doctor said I was still weak and had to stay home for a few more days. Mom wanted to look after me, so she decided to move in.

"Your mom will sleep on the upper bunk tonight," he said over my shoulder as I took my pillow down from my bed.

I paused and turned to look at him. "Where will you be sleeping then?"

"Couch. Or maybe I won't sleep at all."

I nodded slowly in contemplation. "You sure?" I asked, knowing I wouldn't be able to change Ru's mind about things of this sort.

He just picked up his pillow and headed for The Back.

_That's Ru for you_, I sighed inwardly.

**x**

"He's a sweet person, Mom, but I'm sure he doesn't think of me that way," I told my mother later that evening, as I was helping her make her bed.

She snorted, "You're sure."

"Come _on_, Mom," I threw a cushion at her, exasperated. "You're _such _a kid!"

"I'm not," Mom tried to defend herself. "I'm just trying to help you see the facts. Quit that Tadashi guy and go for the sweeter fruit!"

I raised my eyebrows at her.

"Okay so maybe that's not what they say in Japan, but you get my point!"

"They don't say that back in London either."

"You do get my point, don't you?" Mom cocked an eyebrow.

I sighed, "Just… go to bed, Mom."

"I'm warning you, you aren't realizing it yourself-"

"Yeah Mom. Whatever you say. Good night," I strode to the door.

"Hey!" Mom hollered.

I spun on my heel and explained, "I'm going to brush my teeth, all right?"

Mom conceded defeat and I turned off the lights.

**x**

I met Ru in the bathroom, also brushing his teeth.

"Hey bro," I greeted in English.

"What's '_buro_'?" he mumbled through the toothpaste.

"Just a contraction of 'brother'," I smiled at him, squeezing a sliver of toothpaste onto my toothbrush.

He didn't reply, but continued brushing.

_Typical. He's so bad at smalltalk._

"My mom's asleep. I'm going to bed soon."

He spat to show acknowledgement.

"Are you sleeping soon?" I tried to speak with the toothbrush in my mouth.

He looked at me, and held my gaze for a moment. "I'll finish up the next draft of my manga first," he said slowly, apprehensively in contemplation - as if he didn't want to sleep.

_Hm._

"Okay then. Good night," I ruffled his hair and he strutted off.

I spat into the sink, thinking, _Why is everyone acting so weird?_

**x**

I really, really, really couldn't sleep.

In hospital there is no disturbance, just comfortable quietness around you. There is no constant rocking coming from the person above you. You cannot hear cars zooming down the road that you're room window faces. You don't have an air-conditioner that creaks every two and a half minutes.

Back home, things are different.

I crawled out of bed, careful not to wake my mother. Glancing at my cellphone, which read a quarter past three, I inwardly groaned. Sleep was beckoning, but I just could not succumb.

I made a foray into the living room. It was dark, except for the dim touch of light on the hallway from the slit of the door from The Back.

Turning the doorknob, I gave the door a gentle push and light flooded my vision. "Ow," I muttered, before my eyes got adjusted to the light.

"Ru?" I walked up to the sleeping form slumped on the table. He didn't respond. Seeing that his draft was risking The Attack of Droolzilla, I pushed his head gingerly aside and slid out the sheets of paper.

I gasped in astonishment – I couldn't help myself, really.

It was me. The main character was me.

As I leafed through the draft I realized that the story was about Ru and I. Sure, some details were tweaked, but almost every scene that took place in his manga had taken place before, in our lives. Even the part about receiving Mom at the airport!

"Oh, Ru…" I couldn't help but smile. I flipped to the last page of the draft. It went like this.

_Takazawa walks into the studio and sees Aoshima asleep on the table. His headache was gone, but the fever was still disturbing him. It was about 6 am in the morning and Takazawa had to play in a friendly match in school. _

_He saw an easel erected beside the table and goes closer to look at the canvas on it. He is taken aback at the half-finished picture. 'It's me,' he realizes._

_It is a close-up of him, working hard on his concept sheet. His mouth is set in a soft line, and his eyebrows are slightly furrowed. But his eyes, though lowered, express so much passion and fire for what he is doing. 'It is unlike the charge of adrenaline I get when I play basketball,' Takazawa thinks, 'but yet the passion is so similar.'_

_Takazawa looks at Aoshima again, and his lips turn up slightly._

**x**

"Hey, I have your certificate," Sendoh informed me over the phone.

"What certificate?" I yawned. It was noon, but I hardly got any sleep the previous night.

"We had our graduating ceremony today, remember?"

"WHAT? I missed it?"

Sendoh gave me a sigh in mock exasperation. "Yes, of course you missed it. How would I have your cert otherwise?"

"Oh. Okay. So what do I do?"

"You can't come out, right?"

"Nope. Doctor's orders," I chewed on my lower lip. "But it isn't urgent, right?"

"Well," Sendoh mused, "you're right, it isn't urgent. Plus you'll be in time for checking the posting results. You applied for the Tokyo University of Art, right?"

I laughed. "Actually, I didn't. I'm not going to study Art as a major."

"Ah. So what was your choice?"

"Kanagawa University. I'm going to major in English," I replied simply.

"Hey, that's cheating! You already know English very well!" Sendoh protested. "Well, on the other hand, you really suck at everything else…"

"Hey!" I protested.

"Ha! But I thought you'll go to a university in Tokyo, or at least study art."

"I can always do art later in my life. I just want something more solid to fall back on, you know? And besides, I don't want to leave Kanagawa, somehow… At least, not for now," I grinned as I thought of Ru.

I really wanted to look after Ru. Even though I was not very sure why, but I wanted to make sure he had enough takoyaki to eat, I wanted to make sure he had enough clothes to wear in the winter, I wanted to make sure he didn't work too hard on his manga and forsake his sleep. He was someone who, in truth, could not take very good care of himself, independent as he seemed to be.

"Why?" Sendoh questioned.

"Don't be such a nosey parker."

"Ah wait, it must be because of Rukawa," Sendoh said in a suggestive tone.

"Sendoh, I don't like him that way!"

"If that's true, then he must like you a whole lot. We all saw him during our evening visits. Of course, he doesn't like people very much so he would get out of the room whenever we came in. But honestly, how do you know that guy?"

"Honestly Sendoh, it's not for you to know."

"Aw, tell me," he teased. "He lives in our area, right? I've seen him around. Did you guys meet in the supermarket?"

"I'm hanging up!"

"Okay, chill, I'll stop it."

"Good," I sighed. "Maybe one day you'll find out, but it won't be any day soon."

"Fair enough."

"Right then, I'll hang up here. See you around," I hung up the phone.

Honestly, people around me were confusing. Sometimes me denying that I didn't like Ru that way made me wonder if I really did, which didn't make sense at all.

Or maybe it did, but I couldn't fathom why.

Even if it didn't…

…Ah, forget it.

**x**

_KAWASAKI TADASHI 1:20 PM  
_**Are you free to talk? Preferably face to face. I have a few things I want to say to you before I leave for Canada. **

_I already said forget it, so what else does he need to say? _I wondered. I replied anyway, telling him that I couldn't leave the home and suggesting he come over.

_KAWASAKI TADASHI 1:25 PM_

**All right then. See you in fifteen minutes.**

"MOM! TADASHI'S COMING! HELP CLEAN UP THE SITTING ROOM!"

Mom crawled up from the couch and frowned. "Am I your maid?"

"You're supposed to look after me," I whined. "You owe me, remember?" (This always worked.)

Begrudgingly, Mom stated to stack up her magazines and throw her beer cans into a plastic bag.

"Remember to vacuum the floor," I smirked, and she stuck out her tongue at me.

"Why is he coming, anyway?" Mom folded her arms, her nose in the air. She didn't like Tadashi much, after he 'indirectly caused me to be hit by a car'.

"He needs to tell me something before he leaves for Canada. He's going there to study."

"Oh, goody," Mom's face lit up, and she turned to pick up the empty potato crisp bag with renewed vigor.

And now, all I had to do was to wait.


	10. Curtainfall

_Chapter 10_

"Hey," Tadashi gave me a small smile as he stepped through the doorway.

"Hey," I greeted back, as he took off his coat.

"You can place it there," I pointed to the newspaper rack, Ru's and my makeshift coat-hanger. Tadashi was bewildered at the choice, but draped his coat over the rack anyway.

I headed for the living room, drawing my clammy fingers through my hair. Yes, I was nervous. For what, I had no clue, but somehow there was a lot of tension between Tadashi and I.

"Have a seat," Mom said in a clipped tone as Tadashi approached the couch. He managed a muffled, embarrassed thank-you and plopped down on the seat before she stalked off to the kitchen.

"So!" I tried to be cheery, "What do you want to tell me?"

Tadashi fingered his thumb. "Actually, I'm leaving for the airport in awhile. I only got the courage to tell you this at the last minute, as you can see."

"Tell me what?" I leant back into the velvety softness of the couch.

"Why I was so concerned about you fraternizing with… Rukawa," sighed Tadashi, unable to say the B-word.

"Your brother," I said on purpose, a grin slowly creeping across my face.

Tadashi shrugged and threw up his hands in mock resignation. "Right," he agreed, "my brother."

I laughed, knowing that there was less stress around us already. "You may begin," I made a sweeping gesture with my hand.

"I… Well, it's embarrassing to admit, but I was so jealous of Rukawa. My dad told me of his existence, since when, I can't remember. But it feels like forever. I hungered for my dad's attention because I never got it, save for the times he wanted to tell me about what a nice boy my brother was. He swore me to secrecy, to not tell my mother about the other family he was father and husband to. Of course I acceded – it was the only kind of bond holding him and I."

I was overcome with pity for Tadashi. "You poor thing," I whispered.

Tadashi smiled and shook his head. "I understand how my dad felt… At least, now I do. We had a long talk last night, because I'll be leaving today. Apparently he filed for divorce with my mom but she's been refusing to sign the papers for the past fifteen years. She's threatening my father with things like shutting down the Kawasaki empire, which my dad's family has built since before the war. My grandfather would have a fit if that happens. He's really old now and he doesn't know that my dad wants a divorce. But closing down the company is the worst my mother will do. I know about my mom's 'evil side', but she isn't that bad, really. She just wants some attention from my dad. I do know now that both my parents love me a lot."

I nodded, and Tadashi continued with his story.

"When I entered junior high, Rukawa was still in elementary school, but this is what my dad said – 'Be a good elder brother and guide him along when you see him. Remember, I will be a teacher in Tomigaoka next year and _I will be watching you_.' That was why there was a lot of stress on me when I was in junior high. Graduating was a relief."

"Then came high school, right? How did you connect Ru and I together, then?" I wondered aloud.

"I didn't need to connect you two together much. My dad told me something along the lines of 'your brother is so clever, he is using his talent to support his family because your mother is watching my finances closely' and naturally, he had to include the bit that Rukawa was living with a friend in this block of apartments."

"So you knew all along that Ru lives here?" I exclaimed, my eyes widening.

He gave a cheeky grin. "Not really. I just chanced upon a volume of Comic Weekly that interviewed you and you mentioned that your co-author is your flatmate. Everyone assumed that it was a girl because of the artwork and the storyline, but I took a look at the co-author's pseudonym and realized the first and last letters stood for Kaede Rukawa."

I gave a shriek of laughter and socked Tadashi on the arm. "You sneaky nosey parker!" I chortled.

"Thank you," said Tadashi modestly.

"He thought no one would find out," I choked breathlessly.

"Ah. You have to remember I have a lot of insider information."

"That's why you're sneaky."

"I don't think I thought very clearly, actually, when I was being sneaky," Tadashi admitted. "I just wanted to destroy it all for Rukawa. I felt that he had everything I didn't have. He had my dad's attention, even though he didn't know it, he had a great thing going for him in basketball and manga. Oh yes, he also had a great relationship with you. That's why I wanted to separate you and him, since you seemed to be the only human being outside his family he was on truly good terms with."

"That's just because I live with him. It's natural that we get to know each other better."

"If you say so. I heard that in his school he isn't a very sociable person, but no one knows how he is when he's at home. So one day I decided to ask my dad, who was of course ecstatic to have an excuse to talk to his mom, who told my dad that he's getting on very well with his flatmate. '_She _has done a lot for him', that's what my dad said," chuckled Tadashi.

I blinked twice in slight unbelief. "I don't think I have a lot for him, nor do I think he is indebted to me in anyway, but... Ru and I do get along very well," I confessed, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

Tadashi cocked his head and gave me a serene smile. "You know… You're a very special person."

"Nah, I'm not," I waved my hand as a motion to brush that comment aside.

He held firm. "You are. You treat your friends unconditionally… You can sacrifice your own intentions for them. Like how you ran across the road to catch up with me… But more like how you treat Rukawa, and accept him as part of your life without any grudge or expectation... If Rukawa wasn't in the way, I'd go after you," Tadashi gave me a simpering smile.

"Ah, stop smiling like that," I threw a cushion at him. "Ru isn't _in the way_."

"Oh, he is, don't tell me you can't tell," Tadashi gave me a wink as he got up from the couch.

"Honestly, Tadashi, do you think you can tell anything from his behavior?" I cocked an eyebrow at Tadashi's cockiness.

"Judging from how hard he hit me in the hospital, yes, I think I can."

"We are just _really_ good friends."

"So, you're telling me you don't like him that way, right?" Tadashi lifted my chin gently to look up at him.

I felt my heart thumping faster, the blood gushing to my face. "Uh, I, um-"

Tadashi laughed and took his hand away. "Tokita… You'll miss me, won't you?"

I closed my eyes slowly, trying to figure out my feelings for Tadashi. Did I still love him? This was my last chance to tell him, right?

"To tell you the truth, I was long aware of your affection," Tadashi sat down again, this time opposite me. My mouth dropped open, shocked at this new revelation.

"But I don't think I can return it, Tokita."

I shot him look that suggested my perception of his sexual orientation.

"Aw, don't look at me like that, I'm not gay!"

"Sorry," I lowered my frightened, astonished gaze and gave a muffled giggle.

"I don't want to commit to a relationship right now, not when I still have to complete my education overseas," he said seriously.

"…I understand."

"So… Don't love me, all right? Besides, I'm not worthy of your love."

I didn't have anything to say, being completely tongue-tied.

"I know you don't want to hear any of the sorry crap, but I really am sorry for all the distress I've caused you."

I smiled reassuringly, and he grinned back. "Right then, I have to leave for the airport right now, the chauffeur's waiting for me," he stood up.

I felt a slow pang of disappointment working its way from my heart down to my gut. "That's fast," I gave Tadashi what I assumed to be a brave smile.

He gave me an unexpected embrace, sweeping me into his arms. I caught the scent of his shampoo and Mom's look of rude shock as she peeked at us from the kitchen door.

I pulled back from the hug, decidedly bashful. Striding to the door, I heard Tadashi behind me, grabbing his coat off the newspaper rack.

"Tadashi," I chewed on my lip. "Thanks for coming over today."

"Well, thank _you_. I've certainly heaved a load off my chest," he replied as he put on his coat.

"Good for you," I nodded, and pulled open the door. He walked out, but suddenly turned back.

"You know, I would have given you a kiss, but I'll let my… brother… have the honor," he murmured with a mischievous gleam in his eye.

"Ru and I are _clean_, Tadashi. He doesn't like me that way."

"So that means I can kiss you?" Tadashi laughed, stepping towards the door.

"No no no!" I laughed and pushed him out playfully. "Get along now, I don't want you to miss your flight."

"Okay. Keep in touch, all right? I'll be back for vacation, so… Until then."

"All right. Bye!" I waved, and he disappeared into the elevator.

_Thanks for all the memories, Tadashi. I'll be looking forward to more of them, till you get back_, I grinned to myself as I shut the door behind me.

**x**

"Kawasaki was downstairs," Ru mumbled as he trudged into the hallway. "Erin-san," he greeted Mom as she came out of the shower.

"Hello there, Rukawa-kun," she patted his arm lightly in greeting and breezed past us into the room to make a phone call.

Ru still had on a stoic expression, but I could sense something different around him.

"Yes, you were saying – what about Tadashi?" I turned towards the TV again.

"Why did he come?"

"He came up for a chat. He's leaving for Canada today," I told Ru as I flipped channels. He then hopped from the back of the couch and dived onto the seat with his butt.

"Hey!" I complained, bouncing up. He was, evidently, much heavier than I was. Twenty kilograms, at the least.

"So," I turned to face him, "did you manage to talk to him?"

Ru hogged the remote to show his indifference.

"Okay, I really want to ask if you said sorry for beating him up, but since I already know that your answer will be no, I'll forget it. What about him? Did he tell you he's sorry for all the mean things he's said about you?"

The boy grunted.

"And did you say anything?"

Ru looked pointedly at me. "I said, _Do'ahou_."

"Awwww Ru! You could have just said 'apology accepted' or something like that. At least show him you can accept him!"

"I did."

"Ah."

'_Do'ahou'._

_So he did._

**x**

"I just got off the phone with Mazzy," Mom draped her arms around me from the back. "He wants to see Rukawa-kun."

"How did you get his number?" I asked her, surprised.

"I asked Tadashi, of course," she replied smugly. "Got it from him at the hospital as he was leaving in shame."

"Ah. I see."

_Typical. Get a phone number from a guy who had just been beaten up._

_It's happened before, in more ways than one._

"So!" Mom clapped her hands. "Shall we arrange something?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. You have to ask Ru first."

Mom put a finger to the side of her mouth. "Hmm," she considered, "Okay. He won't listen to you anyway."

"That's harsh, Mom," I shook my head in mock disappointment.

"It's not fault he pays more attention to elders," Mom smirked.

"Oh, get a grip!" I laughed at her girlishness.

Mom stuck her tongue out at me playfully and went off to look for Ru in The Back.

I smiled as I saw her prancing towards the room. Our relationship had improved by a major leap, especially after my stay in hospital. It was more like a friendship than a kinship, I'll admit, but it was much better than any relationship I've had with her.

**x**

Ru actually consented to meet his father, but seeing that Tadashi's mother would not allow Ru in her home, the meeting was to be held at my place.

According to Mom, it was an open secret that Ru's father had another family. Tadashi's mother couldn't do anything about it, unless she really was ruthless enough to kill Ru's family. But as Tadashi said, his mom wasn't that bad, really. She was just content to be Mazzy's legal spouse.

That was something that struck me as sad, because it was like how Tadashi was when he was younger. He would listen to his father talk about Ru even if he didn't like it, because those were the times his father really spoke to him from the bottom of his heart. Similarly, Tadashi's mom wanted to hang on to the marriage because it was the only thing binding her to her husband. Without the legality in the relationship, she would have nothing.

"She really must love Mazzy," I whispered to myself as I dried my hair. The bathroom was all steamy from my shower.

"Finally!" I heard Mom's voice floating across the chimes of the doorbell.

_This is it,_ I grinned as I pulled on my clothes. _Ru's big day._

**x**

The two men just stared at each other, without saying anything.

"Um, Mazzy, do you know Eddy just came out of hospital?" Mom decided to make some conversation.

"Sorry?" Mazzy-san, as he asked me to address him, gave Mom a puzzled look.

"Eddy," Mom gestured to me, "just came out of hospital."

Mazzy-san looked at me and a bulb went off in his head. "Oh! I thought you were talking about some boyfriend of yours," he chuckled, slightly embarrassed.

We all laughed (somewhat nervously), save for Ru. Mom shot me her Worry Look and I nodded before saying, "Excuse me, I'd like to speak to Ru for a moment."

Mazzy-san gave me a small smile as I dragged Ru by the arm. He heaved himself off the couch somewhat compliantly and we headed for the room.

"Ru," I started once I shut the door behind me, but he started to yawn.

"Look, Ru!" I shook his arms violently (I couldn't reach his shoulders) and made him snap awake. "You've gotta try to talk."

He stared at me.

"Yes, I know you don't usually _talk_ just like normal people, but this is your dad. You've got to at least _try_. You missed out on him in the whole of junior high, and he was right there! Don't tell me you've got no regret about that?"

Ru averted his eyes away from mine.

"Look at me!"

Reluctantly he pulled his gaze back to me.

"I don't know why you need to make things difficult. Sure, you're sore about him not making a move to contact you. You may even be sore that he sort of waited in a corner, just observing you all your life. But he didn't have any choice, Ru. He had this _woman_ looking at his every move, who would close down the business his family had spent generations to build. It could give his father – your grandfather – a heart attack or something. Are you understanding any of this?"

Ru jutted his lower lip out to show acknowledgement.

"I'm not trying to make a comparison here," I bit the insides of my cheeks to stop my eyes from filling up, "but I think you're one heck of a lucky person to have both your parents loving each other for so long." I couldn't help it, a sob escaped my throat. Ru looked absolutely petrified, even though his face didn't show it. I could see his pupils dilating, and I felt really guilty but I couldn't stop myself.

"Your brother and sister are alive, for goodness' sake," I breathed hard and swallowed as the tears ran down my face, dripping onto my t-shirt. "What more do you want?" I swiped at my cheeks roughly, then my nose.

"Don't cry," Ru whispered, plucking a tissue from a box nearby and handing it to me.

I took it and blew my nose.

"I'm sorry," I choked. "I didn't mean to make you feel guilty, but I couldn't help thinking how bad your attitude is to the situation."

"It's all right," he said, rather subdued.

"So, you'll try to talk?" I furrowed my brows at him while reaching over to get another piece of tissue.

He nodded. I gave him a watery grin and he pushed my head lightly to the side.

"Thanks," he murmured, as he opened the door.

**x**

"Move back?" Ru reiterated. Mazzy-san nodded with a pleased smile.

"Your mother would be ecstatic to have you back. I've argued with Miyu about it. She still threatens to close down Kawasaki Heavy Industries, but when I told her I won't be living with all of you she quieted down. I'm sorry, Kaede," Mazzy-san patted his son's knee. "Money is the best that I can do, when it comes to providing for this family. I really should live with the family that I love, but I'm afraid-"

"It's okay, I understand," Ru spoke quietly.

"So you'll move back with your mother? You won't have to work for the publishing house anymore," Mazzy-san concluded, beaming.

Ru was silent.

"Kaede?"

Mom leant over and tapped Mazzy-san on the shoulder. "Give him some time to consider," she smiled encouragingly.

Mazzy-san nodded.

Ru finally looked up and replied, "I'll just finish this series, then I'll tell Shinohara-san about my resignation."

I gave him a nod of approval. "You have to concentrate on basketball and your studies, anyway. And it's good to be with your mom."

"I didn't say I want to move back."

My eyes widened at him fiercely.

He glared back.

Mazzy-san lowered his eyes, smiling sadly. "Your mom misses you, Kaede."

I saw his stare waver.

"Kashi and Katsura have been pestering Chizuru for your address, but you never told your mother where you live exactly," Mazzy-san continued.

"Rukawa-kun, go back to live with your mother, all right?" Mom put her hand on Ru's shoulder.

Ru breathed a silent sigh and broke eye contact with me.

"When do I move out?"

**x**

I put the last of Ru's clothes into his duffel bag and looked up at him. "That's all, isn't it?"

He nodded, checking the list in his hand that I had drawn up for him.

"Well, you're all set!" I beamed, dancing around excitedly. "Aren't you psyched to live with your family again? No sleeping in school after finishing this series, you hear! Concentrate on school and basketball!"

"I think you're the psyched one."

"I'm just happy for you, Ru," I gave his arm a squeeze. "You're my best friend."

"I thought Sendoh is your best friend."

"Have I ever said that?"

"Un."

"Oh, that's just because I said you're my flatmate!"

"Which means?"

"You're my best, best, best friend," I laughed, pulling the zip across the bag. "Now, I'll still see you in Kouei, right?"

He nodded.

"Great. I don't feel as bad as I did when Tadashi left."

Ru didn't say anything about that, and I didn't probe. He probably still had some gripes about Tadashi being his brother, even if he had forgiven Tadashi about the car accident.

"I'm off," he muttered, and picked up the bag. The chauffeur was waiting for him downstairs.

"I'll go down with you!" I offered, scrambling after him to put on my shoes.

Ru shrugged, telling me he didn't mind.

_And another one bites the dust_, I thought, as memories of Tadashi waving goodbye to me from the doorway flooded my mind.

**x**

_Five months later-_

"Where's my passport?" Mom shrieked as she emptied the contents of her handbag onto the floor of the waiting room.

"Mom!" I hissed from the corner of my mouth. "This is an airport!"

"Eddy! Help me find my passport!"

"It's there, Mom," I pointed irritably. "In your jeans pocket."

"Oh Eddy, you genius, you."

I grunted my acknowledgement to that so-called compliment as she heaped her stuff together before dumping them into her bag. "No beer on the plane, all right? No one will be there to get you," I chastised.

"Oh, you don't have to bother, I have people there," Mom gave me a smug wink. "I grew up there, remember?"

"Okay, but no guys, all right! Only girl friends."

"Yes, yes, I remember my promise."

"And call me every week!"

"My goodness. You sound like your grandmother."

I folded my arms stubbornly. "Good!" I nodded vehemently to prove my point.

The call came for her plane and she planted two wet kisses on my cheeks. "You take care, all right? Call Daddy if there's an emergency, he'll get to you faster," Mom stroked my forehead.

"Got it," I gave her a wide smile before hugging her.

"Bye Mom."

"Bye, Eddy."

"Um, Mom?"

Mom turned and gave me a raspberry. "I love you," she mouthed, as she walked backwards toward the gate.

I was about to return the farewell when I realized something. "Mom, watch out!"

With a stupendous crash, a trolley collided with her bum. I slapped my hand to my forehead.

_I love you too, Mom._

**x**

I flopped onto the couch at gazed up at the ceiling.

"There's no one here!" I shouted, giggling to myself. A small, gnawing feeling of loneliness was creeping up on me, but I chose to ignore it.

I got up and switched on the CD player. Scanning through the discs, I chose a dance album and turned it up to a comfortable volume. It had been a long time since I could do something like that…

"WOOHOO!" I yelled while catapulting myself onto the couch, shaking my head to the beats of the music. "LA LA LA LA LA!" I stamped my feet and clapped along with the rhythm.

Then I giggled to myself again before dropping down on the floor, resting my head on the seat of the couch to face the ceiling again.

_So, Tokita Kaede._

_Yeah?_

_You're all alone in this apartment. How are you feeling?_

_Perfectly fine._

_You sure?_

_Okay, maybe a little bit sad._

_A little bit?_

_Rather._

_Why?_

_Well, Mom's just gone back to London today, and Ru's playing basketball in Taiwan with the All Japan team, and Tadashi's doing his summer term in Canada so he won't be back this vacation._

_Out of these three who do you miss the most?_

_Oh, that's easy. Definitely Ru._

_But he's the nearest. Taiwan._

_I know, but he was my flatmate. And I've missed him so much these past five months._

_And have you told him you miss him?_

_Nope._

_Why?_

_I don't know._

_Don't lie._

_I'm not lying._

_The first catch in a confession is denial._

_Honestly, I don't know how I feel, so stop bugging me. _

_What are you feeling right now?_

_Hmm. I just want to see Ru. I want to eat takoyaki with him. I want to see him draw manga… I want him to see my fully completed oil painting of him that I never got the courage to show him because I'm afraid he'll say it sucks. I just want to see him more than anyone else in the world, and I don't really know why._

I didn't realize it, but tears were flowing down my temples while my eyes were closed. I decided to stop my soliloquy and open my eyes when I realized a face was above me.

"RU!" I screamed before shooting to my feet in shock. "Why are you here?" I frantically wiped away the tears from my eyes.

"I live here," he said simply.

"No you don't!"

"I do," he held up his duffel bag.

"You're supposed to be in Taiwan!"

"I came here right after the airport."

"When did you come in?" I demanded.

"Along the lines of 'Be my baby, yeah yeah yeah'."

"Oh," I replied, aware that my face was taking on the color of a beetroot. That was around the time I went "la la la la la".

"I will include that in my next manga," Ru said breezily, and sat on the couch.

I looked up. "I thought you stopped drawing."

He shrugged. "I can't give it up."

"Why?"

He shrugged yet again, and looked at me pointedly. A slow grin spread across my face like peanut butter.

"What do you think," I began, "about me learning basketball?"

He cocked his head before laughing. It was the first time I heard him laugh, really _laugh_, like 'hahahahahaha'.

"So? Is it a deal or not?" I put my hands on my hips and looked at him adamantly.

"You have to show me what happened to the oil painting you did so many months back. If it's good, then I'll consider getting you a coach."

I grinned and took his hand, before leading him to The Back.

_Welcome home, Ru._

**X**

And that's it! Thank you all for you support. It's been great writing this. I hope you guys don't kill me for the rather obscure ending ;;


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